26 February 2015

Some Things to Think About Before You Marry

Some tips on finding a wife (husband)


The easiest marriage life is when people are friends with much in common. The more in common the easier it is. Looks have very little value, because you have to live with this person. The most beautiful person in existence may have a road kill personality. Marrying such a person would make life difficult.


How much melanin is in their skin is meaningless. It has no bearing on whom to marry. There are no races. We are all one race.


Culture may be different but is an opportunity to learn and appreciate others. It should have no bearing on marriage choice.


A spiritually born again person must not marry a non-born again person. A born again person should marry a born again person, and a non-born again person should marry a non-born again person. Confused? See here--Need God.


Beware of the psychopath! See article at the bottom.


A1 Similar

B1 Lifestyle

C1 This would include

D1 Dress

D2 Music

D3 Food

D4 Daily habits as bedtime, etc.

D5 Clean or sloppy house and/or personal habits

D6 Helps in house cleaning, etc. or not

D7 Partier or not

D8 Involved in politics or not

E1 Conservative

E2 Progressive

E3 Libertarian

E4 Communist, Marxist, Nazi

E5 Anarchist

D9 Environmental concerns

D10 Business ideas

E1 Capitalist

E2 Socialist

E3 Biblical (I don't agree with everything in these articles, but it does give us something to think about)

F1 Creating a Company Code of Ethics: Using the Bible as a Guide

F2 Biblical Best Practices: The Call for Christian Excellence

C2 A country lover or a city lover

D1 Country

E1 Animal smells

E2 Animal sounds

E3 Hunting, fishing, etc.

D2 City

E1 Neighbors

E2 Activities

E3 City sounds and smells

E4 What type of neighborhood

C3 Animals

D1 Inside animal status

D2 Outside animals

D3 Animal lover or not

B2 Personalities

C1 Introvert

C2 Extrovert

C3 Pet peeves

B3 Financially

C1 Work

C2 Bank accounts

C3 Investments

C4 Amount of time working

C5 Work related activities as parties, meetings, brand/business promotions, traveling

C6 High spender versus low spender

C7 Savings or spending

C8 Credit

C9 Wife/husband working while partner stays home

C10 Charity

B4 Spiritually

C1 Religion

D1 Serious or not

D2 Daily Bible reading and prayer or not

D3 Church attendance--regular or not

D4 Giving to charity or not

D5 Evangelizing or not

D6 Lots of church activities, some, or none

D7 What is modest and not modest

D8 What is the final authority

E1 Bible

E2 Theology book

E3 Religious leader

E4 Emotions

E5 Experiences (as dreams, visions, premonitions, etc.)

C2 Irreligious

C3 Doesn't care

B5 Emotionally

C1 Happy

C2 Melancholic

C3 Good listener or not

C4 Talker or more quiet

C5 Thoughtful or not

C6 Compassionate or not

C7 Sympathetic or not

C8 Helpful or not

C9 Needy or not

C10 Gentle or not

C11 Whinny or not

C12 Responsible or irresponsible

C13 What do they do when depressed

D1 Want to be alone

D2 Want to sleep

D3 Wants to yell

D4 Whinny and needy

D5 Big spender

D6 Big eater

C14 Mature or immature

C15 Not looking for a wife but a mama

C16 Self-control or not

C17 Gossiper or not

C18 Busybody or not

C19 Peaceable or not

C20 Humble or arrogant

C21 Appreciative or not

C22 Sensible or stupid

C23 Loves others or themselves (especially children and elders)

C24 Smiles or not

C25 Laughs or not

C26 Forgiving or not

C27 Joyful or not

B6 Marriage Life

C1 You are the one and only or looks around

C2 Flirts or not

C3 Views on sex life

D1 Gentle and caressing

D2 Fast and painful

D3 How often

D4 Birth control and abortion

C4 Who handles the money

C5 Romantic or not

C6 Eat out often, rarely, or never

C7 Where to eat out

D1 Expensive and formal

D2 Cheap and fast

D3 Grocery store

D4 Picnic

C8 Likes big gifts, small gifts, tokens, or none

C9 Enjoys your company a lot or rarely

C10 Looks and a person's weight mean a lot, little, or don't care

C11 Helps around the house or not

C12 Children or not

C13 How to discipline children

C14 How to educate the children

D1 Home school

D2 Public school

D3 Private school

D4 Tutor

D5 College important

E1 Child pays for most

E2 Parent pays for most

D6 Career choices important

E1 Professional

E2 Technical

E3 Labor

E4 Doesn't make any difference as long as they are productive, self-supporting, and happy in their career

C15 Vacations

D1 At home

D2 Elsewhere

E1 Expensive (as in a cruise)

E2 Less so (as in camping)

E3 Local or far away

C16 Retirement

D1 When

D2 Where

D3 What type of lifestyle

C17 Who is the boss in the family

D1 Wife or husband

D2 Both

D3 Neither (each does their own thing)

C18 Argues or not

C19 How they handle conflict (conflicting views)

C20 How they handle difficulties

C21 How they handle disappointments

C22 Their definition of love

D1 My way only

D2 1 Corinthians 13

C23 Boosts their spouses self-esteem or is critical and belittles them

C24 Critical, complaining spirit or not

C25 Wife is a nagger

C26 Concerned with spouse's emotional, physical, spiritual needs


A2 Some rules

B1 Husbands

C1 Be understanding of wife (1 Peter 3:7)

C2 Treat them respectfully (1 Peter 3:7) If not then God may not listen to your prayers.

C3 No adultery (Hebrews 13:4)

C4 Not to be harsh (Colossians 3:18-19)

C5 Not to remain a mama's boy and a responsibility to start own family and not live at home forever (Ephesians 5:31)

C6 Love wife likes he loves and treats himself (Ephesians 5:28)

C7 God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)

C8 Practices the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)

C9 Only one wife (1 Timothy 3:12)

C10 Live joyfully with your wife (Ecclesiastes 9:9)

C11 Have an enjoyable and gentle sex life (Proverbs 5:12-13)

C12 Teach children, especially truth about the Bible. (Deuteronomy 6:7, Psalm 78:5, Proverbs 22:6, Isaiah 38:19)

C13 Provide for family (2 Corinthians 12:14)

C14 To nurture children (Ephesians 6:4). Nurture has to do with correcting children and educating them.

C15 Try not to force your children to be angry (Colossians 3:21)

C16 Don't be an evil influence (1 Kings 22:52)

C17 Be a good influence (2 Chronicles 27:2)

B2 Wives

C1 Concentrate on inner beauty rather than outer beauty. (1 Peter 3:5)

C2 The final voice (authority) is the husband (1 Peter 3:5)

D1 Not a dictator

D2 Listens closely to wife's view

E1 Wife may have more common sense than husband (Judges 13:22-23)

E2 Wife may see things from a different angle. (Matthew 27:19)

E3 Wife may be gifted in that area while husband doesn't have a clue (for example wife is a physician and husband knows nothing about medical) (Daniel 5:10-12)

D3 Final voice as in any business, work, or government situation. Someone does have the final say.

C3 No adultery (Hebrews 13:4)

C4 Interested in helping younger women (Titus 2:4)

C5 Not to make fun of her husband (nor husband make fun of his wife)

C6 Practices the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)

C7 Only one husband (1 Timothy 3:12)

C8 Have an enjoyable and gentle sex life (Proverbs 5:12-13)

C9 Teach children, especially truth about the Bible. (Deuteronomy 6:7, Proverbs 22:6, Isaiah 38:19)

C10 To nurture children (Ephesians 6:4)

C11 Don't be an evil influence (1 Kings 22:52, Matthew 14:8)

C12 Be a good influence (2 Timothy 1:5)

B3 Children

C1 Encourage others to follow God (Psalm 34:11)

C2 Praise God (Psalm 148:12)

C3 Be wise, not foolish (Proverbs 10:1)

C4 Listen to what your father and mother tell you (Proverbs 23:22)

C5 Remember your Creator (Ecclesiastes 12:1)

C6 Respect your parents and do not curse them. (Mark 7:10)

C7 Obey parents (Ephesians 6:1). This would obviously be for good things not evil. If your dad tells you to rob a bank, you must disobey.

C8 Be aware, willing, and help your elderly parents especially the widowed. (1 Timothy 2:4)



Avoiding the psychopath and the abuser.


Make sure before you marry that the person is NOT an abuser. They will appear and act charming only to control you. If you do not or will not of anything they want, they will truly hurt you. That hurt may be financially, emotionally, physically, verbally, or other. Avoid, run, do anything to get any from that person.




I think there are almost always red flags waving high and clear, but very few young people are willing to acknowledge them when passions are waving higher. We've all experienced this either in our own lives or as we've observed the lives of other young people. It's all about the "here and now." The FEELINGS. The romance. The dream. The excitement. The longings fulfilled.

Nobody wants to be practical. How dull.

The hard, stone-cold fact is, if a young person refuses to look carefully at the other person from all the angles, taking time to observe objectively and get the input of other objective observers, the feelings, romance, dream, excitement, and fulfilled longings will all end in a shocking and abrupt ending at the altar.

And then there's the long "and they lived…horribly ever after."

I'm not talking about the normal transition from the amazing drama of the dating days to the daily grind. Everyone goes through that and GROWS through that. I'm talking about when you wake up and realize with horror that you are married to an abusive spouse.

How can you avoid this? An abuser doesn't introduce himself like this, "Hello – it's nice to meet you. I'd like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part." Tweet This They follow in the footsteps of their father, the devil. They enter your world like an angel of light. A thing of beauty and wonder.

They are super-de-duper nice. Like Barney.

They worship the ground you walk on.

They are very religious. Think Ghandi.

They tell you that you COMPLETE them. (Watch out with that one.)

They do good deeds. Like Mother Theresa.

They are charming. Attractive. Kind. Thoughtful. Spiritual.

Often (not always) you will find them in or jockeying for leadership positions.

Often (not always) they are very confident.

Often (not always) they live generously.

This is where time is your ally. Take advantage of TIME in order to see what the potential mate is like under pressure. For example:

1. What happens when you give him negative feedback about something he has done?

An abusive person cannot accept negative feedback.

They will... Read the rest at the above link.

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