All people definitely need to avoid marrying an abuser. How can you tell one? This article offers some excellent. I have seen men and women who have been abused. One doesn't even need to ask. There may be the obvious like bruises, but the other signs are there, too. The best is to avoid.
I think there are almost always red flags waving high and clear, but very few young people are willing to acknowledge them when passions are waving higher. We've all experienced this either in our own lives or as we've observed the lives of other young people. It's all about the "here and now." The FEELINGS. The romance. The dream. The excitement. The longings fulfilled.
Nobody wants to be practical. How dull.
The hard, stone-cold fact is, if a young person refuses to look carefully at the other person from all the angles, taking time to observe objectively and get the input of other objective observers, the feelings, romance, dream, excitement, and fulfilled longings will all end in a shocking and abrupt ending at the altar.
And then there's the long "and they lived…horribly ever after."
I'm not talking about the normal transition from the amazing drama of the dating days to the daily grind. Everyone goes through that and GROWS through that. I'm talking about when you wake up and realize with horror that you are married to an abusive spouse.
How can you avoid this? An abuser doesn't introduce himself like this, "Hello – it's nice to meet you. I'd like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part."
The Bible has some advice, some guides, and some rules. Here are some:
- Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NKJV)
- But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. (Malachi 2:15, NKJV)
- Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, GNB92)
- In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7, GNB92)
Showing love to our spouse (or to be spouse) involves giving. Please read the article to avoid some heartache.