What is the solution?
Repent and believe the Gospel. Mark 1:15. See Need God.
What is the Christian to do if he/she finds themselves doing this?
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. " (2 Corinthians 5:17, EMTV)
"But thanks be to God, that though you used to be slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from your heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been freed from sin, you became enslaved to righteousness. I speak in human terms on account of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves to uncleanness, and to lawlessness resulting in more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness resulting in sanctification. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. So what fruit did you have then of which things you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now having been freed from sin, and having become enslaved to God, you have your fruit resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life. " (Romans 6:17-22, EMTV)
This reminds me of a situation that D. L. Moody faced in his ministry. There was a woman who had a bad habit of lying. She came to Mr. Moody and asked his advice. He told her that every time she told a lie to go to the people that she had lied to and tell them that she had lied. She did this and shortly thereafter lost her habit.
I think that this would some advice to follow. Every time you abuse someone emotionally confess it and repent, that is, don’t do the emotional abuse anymore.
- Recognize that you abuse.
- Realize that you do not understand love.
- Confess that you enjoy causing pain.
- Realize that you are a coward. (I say this because most abuse occurs privately. Abuser fear that they may be arrested, fired, dealt with, etc. if they are caught publicly).
- Recognize that you are a bully.
- Realize that respect is earned and recognized by others. It cannot be demanded or commanded. Someone who demands it will be hated.
- Stop making excuses about your behavior.
- Confess that you have and are causing deep pain in others.
- Pray for empathy, because you have none.
- Pray for sympathy, because you don’t have that either.
- Confess your sin to God and ask forgiveness.
- Have a number of prayer partners. When you feel this addiction coming on stop right there call this person.
- Encourage those you have abused and do abuse to tell you when you are abusing. When they tell you, then stop. Remember that you are EVIL and need to quit.
- You will need a life time of help and assistance, because of your addiction.
- You also have a need to control. This is wrong. You are evil. You need to confess that you are evil (and not be proud of it).
- Take a walk and yell at a tree or something to get that controlling anger urge out.