Healthy and Unhealthy Anger (This link is dead as of 10 Dec 14)
Showing the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger.
Introduction, anger is a natural and necessary emotion. Anger is anger, it is in itself neither right nor wrong, healthy nor unhealthy. It is the expression of anger that makes it healthy or unhealthy. When it is expressed appropriately within the context of a situation it is a necessary emotion. Feeling anger is different from expressing anger, and it is the inappropriate expression of anger that makes it unhealthy.
Not feeling any anger in a situation is just as unhealthy as expressing anger in a cageful, vengeful manner. e.g.: when we see a child being beaten cruelly, it is natural to feel anger, however this does NOT justify the inappropriate expression by yelling, screaming or beating the abuser. This is healthy anger.
Healthy anger is appropriate to the situation that evokes it. Healthy expression of anger involves facing what makes you angry and an effort to set boundaries for yourself by determining what you will do in response to what makes you angry.
e.g.: When you do ________, I feel ______ , and to protect myself I will _________.
Healthy anger is not used to punish, is not violent, and is not used to intimidate, control or manipulate the other person. It is expressed, discussed and moved through.
Healthy anger is not stuffed down and ignored. Stuffed anger creates resentment and a myriad of physical, mental and emotional problems. Healthy anger is not expressed in passive-aggressive and manipulative ways.
Unhealthy Anger is a component of abusive relationships. This kind of anger or rage is experienced with great intensity and expressed likewise by screaming and yelling, physical expressions of anger, violence or threats of violence, sulking, manipulation, emotional blackmail, silent smoldering, and anger used to punish.
Rage is a shame-based expression of anger.
Rage is by definition abuse. They react to strong emotions with rage, i.e. feelings of fear, sadness, shame, inadequacy, guilt or loss convert to rage.
They were typically shamed or punished by their caretakers for expressing emotion when they were young; i.e.: "Be a man and don't cry", "Nice girls don't get angry" or "I'll give you something to cry about".
Raging gives the angry person a feeling of power - offsetting their shame and feelings of inadequacy.
Unexpressed anger related to childhood abuses often results in addictive problems later in life. To stuff down the feelings of shame, anger, isolation, fear, sadness and loss the abuse creates.
By pushing feelings down it is impossible to work through feelings and move past them, keeping the person trapped in a downward spiral.
21 November 2018
05 January 2015
Many people believe that the only law that a Christian has is "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:36-40, EMTV).
They believe that God looks at the heart and that their heart is certainly good because of their trust into Jesus.
They belong to a church that has various laws and regulations. Nothing really wrong with those as long as people don't keep them thinking that in obeying these rules they are automatically right with God.
But God does have laws and rules for Christians. The Lord Jesus and also His 12 Apostles gave over 1,000 rules for Christians. We don't obey this to get to heave; we obey these because we are Christians and are submitted to God.
Every kingdom/nation has laws. The Kingdom of God is no different. We might as well start obeying here. God's laws are an easy yoke (Matthew 11:30) and are meant for our safety and the peaceful life among all people. To obey with the right attitude shows our submission to God as our King.
I have posted a pdf file of New Testament Laws, so read and tell me what you think.