Showing posts with label Christian family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian family. Show all posts

02 September 2020

A Few Thoughts About Raising Children Part 2



The importance of time

B1 Doing things with children.

C1 There are 2 extremes one to be overprotective and the other to be neglectful.

C2 We need moderation.

B2 Involving children in life’s situations and problems

B3 How to Really Love Your Child

B4 There is a difference between so-called quality time and time.

B5 The importance of time with a child

For example, a new study has been published in the Journal of Family Issues, led by Brown University sociologist Gregory Elliott. This study shows that adolescents who believe they matter to their families are less likely to threaten or engage in violence against family members. The concept of “mattering” is that an individual believes they make a difference in the world around them. According to the study, mattering is composed of three factorsawareness, importance, and reliance. Do others know you exist? Do they invest time and resources in you? Do they look to you as a resource? Elliott asserts that mattering is the fundamental motivation in human beings. (Source)

B6 Some suggestions

C1 If possible, take one child on an errand to the bank, store, etc.

C2 Accompanying you to see you resolve a problem with a business matter.

C3 Let them see when you fail. How you react teaches them how to handle disappointment.

C4 You have a repair project. Do it with your child/children.

C5 You are a role model.


Remember: Links are not necessarily endorsed. Always be cautious.


The importance of keeping promises

B1 All promises are expected to be truth.

B2 Types

C1 Promises to do, etc.

C2 Commitments to a church, club, etc.

C3 Promises to your spouse

B3 Yes and no

C1 Example

D1 “Yes, you can have another piece of pizza.” Don’t lie to them.

D2 “No, you cannot have another piece of pizza.” Don’t lie to them. No amount of whining, yelling, having a meltdown, will sway you. You promised no, so no means no. To give in shows them that they are boss, they can manipulate you, and you are a liar. This is not good.

C2 Psalms 15:1,4 ERV A song of David. LORD, who can live in your Holy Tent? Who can live on your holy mountain?...They hate those who fail to please God and honor those who respect the LORD. If they make a promise to their neighbor, they do what they promised.

B4 Articles:

C1 5 Reasons for Keeping Promises to Your Children

C2 The pain of a broken promise


The importance of consistency

B1 Household rules

C1 All must follow the rules.

C2 Things happen, so allow flexibility, but in general follow the rules.

C3 As children grow older bedtimes, etc. change, so allow them to be mature and responsible.

C4 Consistency in success and failure. Consistency in following the rules or not following the rules.

B2 Parents life and habits

C1 Parents are role models.

C2 Your actions in public and private is probably going to be mirrored by your children.

B3 Articles:

C1 Why Does Consistency Matter in Parenting?

C2 Be Consistent with Your Child

Married Love

The importance of Biblical love between parents

B1 Your spouse is the highest priority except for God.

B2 Your spouse is more important than your child.

B3 Love is a choice, not necessarily passion.

C1 The Greek word for love is ἀγάπη agápē.

C2 According to Greek Lexicon Of The New Testament, Abbott-Smith, this word means

D1 signifying properly love which chooses its object

D2 is fitly used in NT of Christian love to God and man, the spiritual affection which follows the direction of the will, and which, therefore, unlike that feeling which is instinctive and unreasoned

C3 So if your spouse has a difficult day or for whatever reason she is upset with you, you still love her and she you.

C4 This love of choice leads to the next point.

B4 The actions of love are in 1 Corinthians 13.

C1 My translation: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 WEL Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices with the truth, 7 Bears all things believes all things, hopes all things, calmly endures all things. 8 Love never falls away...

C2 These are the actions of love.

C3 They are seen in public and private.

C4 It is consistent.

C5 It doesn’t end.

C6 It is in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds.

C7 We cannot do this perfectly. Only God can. But He gives us grace for it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit that all Christians have. See Galatians 5:22-23 and Ephesians 5:9.

B5 Listen, really listen to your spouse. There is no need to start giving advice, just LISTEN. Doesn’t God listen to you?

B6 Seek God’s wisdom first, then your spouse. Husbands need to listen, seek, and follow their wives’ advice before someone else. God gave her to you. No other human knows you better than they do.

Preparing for Marriage

The importance of preparing for marriage

B1 Hormones

C1 Girls

D1 Need to learn about their hormonal changes before it happens. Otherwise on their first bleed, they may be scared that something horrible has happened.

D2 Need to learn to chart their periods.

E1 Teaching your teen to chart her cycle could literally save her life

E2 Periods

D3 And many other things.

D4 How to be aware of narcissists and other manipulators.

E1 Danger Signs Tally Sheet He also sells a more in-depth book.

E2 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry

E3 How to avoid choosing a charming, deceitful narcissist for a spouse

E4 There are many others search for Red Flags in Dating or whatever

C2 Boys

D1 How to respect women

E1 Teaching our Boys to Respect Women

E2 Start young. Teach them respect by

F1 Respecting women yourself, especially your wife. Speak respectfully as to your greatest friend and partner in life. Be kind, Be compassionate. LISTEN! To her.

F2 Have consequences to disrespecting your wife (their mother). Mom and Dad must agree what that consequence is and MUST be consistent. Start at 2 years old.

E3 Raising Godly Boys Who Respect Women

D2 Lust

E1 Just reacting to seeing a beautiful woman is nothing. It is when you stare, undress her, etc. Don’t pay attention to the stupid 20 second rule.

E2 Some helpful articles: Love, Honor, Vacuum Blog topic lust.

C3 You might consider the courses from Love, Honor, Vacuum

B2 God’s beliefs about sex. They will learn them, so it is better they learn from you. If you are unable or whatever, then the church must teach it. Why should they learn from the world’s ways and standards?

B3 Teach them the warning signs of narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, etc.


The importance of apologetics

B1 Christianity is most reasonable. Know why and teach it.

B2 The importance of truth.

B3 The importance of being a little skeptical.

B4 Know sources of answers to contradictions, philosophies, etc.

B5 There are answers.

C1 Some of the primary areas of questions

D1 Jesus

D2 Bible

D3 Science

D4 Hell

D5 Evil

C2 Some other main questions all parents should know and teach their children.

D1 See 65 Apologetics Questions Every Christian Parent Needs to Learn to Answer. The main site is here.

D2 Parents need to research these questions to answer them reasonably.

B6 Some sites:

C1 The Domain for Truth (he deals with many apparent contradictions)

C2 Be Thinking

C3 Cold Case Christianity

C4 Cerebral Faith

C5 William Lane Craig

C6 An Introduction to Christian Apologetics

C7 And many others


The importance of finance

B1 Give them some money.

B2 Tell them that this is all they get this week.

B3 If they spend it all in one day, so be it. It is now gone.

B4 Do not give in and give them more. Then they will know that when you give in, you’re not trustworthy and a pushover.

B5 What we say needs to be truth. Yes must mean yes and no mean no.

B6 We need to be consistent.

B7 If we give in to their tears, whining, temper tantrum, they will always do that to get what they want, even when they are adults.

B8 Teach them that debt is to be avoided unless absolutely necessary (as when buying a house). If you have debt, you are a slave to the holder of that debt.

B9 Give to the church as God has prospered.

B10 Pay your bills on time.

B11 Have a safety fund. Teach your children to have one, too, even when they are young as 6 or younger.

B12 Don’t cosign.

B13 Articles:

C1 15 Ways to Teach Kids About Money

C2 You might find something here: Ultimate Resources for Teaching Kids About Money

C3 Maybe one of these will be helpful: My 10 Best Financial Literacy Apps for Kids

C4 Show your kids how you earn money, spend money, save money, make wise buying choices, debt, etc. By observing you, they will learn real life.


Remember: Links are not necessarily endorsed. Always be cautious.


The importance of family teamwork

B1 Working together has many benefits as

C1 Cooperation, teaching mature behavior in difficult and happy situations, sharing sorrows and victories together, sense of belonging, learning teamwork, anticipating another person’s actions to help them, sharing, etc.

C2 Quotes:

D1 Problem solving (this means finding new and creative solutions in situations where you’re stuck or can’t work through your issues)

D2 Managing conflict (this means managing and resolving disagreements in a collaborative and positive way)

D3 Talking and listening (this means communicating in ways that help you connect and strengthen your relationship)

D4 Backing each other up (this means parenting in consistent and supportive ways)

D5 Accepting each other (this means living with and valuing each other’s differences)

D6 Source

B2 Bible verses:

C1 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NET Two people are better than one, because they can reap more benefit from their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will help his companion up, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up. 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together, they can keep each other warm, but how can one person keep warm by himself? 12 Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-stranded cord is not quickly broken.

C2 Very fitting is Ecclesiastes 4:8 LSV There is one, and there is not a second; even son or brother he has not, and there is no end to all his labor! His eye also is not satisfied with riches, and [he does not say], “For whom am I laboring and bereaving my soul of good?” This also is vanity, it is a sad travail.

C3 Proverbs 27:17 CSB Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.

C4 Also see 1 Peter 4:8-10, 1 John 1:7, and Ezra 3:8-9.

B3 Articles:

C1 Developing Family Teamwork

C2 More related to business but shows practical applications: 5 Ways Leaders Must Build a Family Environment to Achieve Excellence


The importance of work

B1 We need to work as best as possible without someone watching

B2 Honorable work

C1 College is not necessary, unless one needs that type of education as medical fields, education, law, engineering, etc.

C2 Skilled trades

C3 Community College (2 year) for many computer related sciences.

B3 Family chores

C1 Don’t pay them for family chores.

C2 They can’t go to bed until the chose is done.

B4 As much as possible work together. In the evening, clean and pick-up the house together. Mom, dad, and children all work together to finish it.

B5 Dads are never to say, “It’s woman’s work.” Do not be a lazy bastard. Work together.

B6 A child should be getting up in the morning on their own by the time they are 8. They need to know how to set an alarm, get up, clean, and dress. Parents are to prepare them to be responsible, mature adults.

B7 Articles:

C1 New Study Finds Teens’ Early Work Experiences Have Long Lasting Career Benefits

C2 How Can Teens Benefit from Working During Their Youth?


The importance of responsibility

B1 Chores being delegated and done without reminding them. This is our goal.

B2 Dad and Mom need to be consistent, too. They need to have and do chores, too.

B3 After showers, everyone picks up their clothes and towels and carries them to the laundry basket.

B4 Let them plan and prepare a whole meal. This should be when they are young say 10 years old or even younger.

B5 Teach them that choices have consequences. Don’t bail them out or you’ll be doing it again and again.

B6 Don’t praise them for doing their routine chores, if so, praise becomes routine. Thank them when they do a hard job done well or doing extra.

B7 Children want to help, especially when they are young.

C1 Take the time to teach them to wash dishes, dry them, and put them away.

C2 Take the time to teach them to clean up after themselves.

C3 Take the time to teach them to do laundry and other household tasks.

C4 What will they do when they are ready to leave home and cannot do any of these things?

C5 Parents are not servants. They must teach the children how to be independent adults.

C6 Accept goof ups when they start. Do not criticize them. Work together. It takes time to learn. When I first started nursing, I made errors. I learned from my errors. Over time (41.5 years worth) I became very experienced. So, it is to learn anything. Have mercy when they start learning these things.

C7 Let them have more independence. At 5-6, they should be able to wash, dry, and put away most of the dishes. At 10 they should be able to make a complete meal. We’re not talking about being a chef but a basic meal. Don’t hover over them when they are cooking but be available for their questions. You don’t like someone doing that to you, so respect them.

Avoid Abuse Teachers

Don’t follow abusive teaching “child experts” like Michael Pearl or Ted Tripp.

B1 I followed Michael Pearl’s teaching and ruined my family. Learn from my stupidity and do not follow his teaching. Burn his books.

B2 All abuse is wrong. Do not abuse your spouse, your parents, your neighbor, your boss, your co-workers, your church leaders, etc.

B3 Articles:

C1 Pearl: Some Michael Pearl Quotes on Child Training and here

C2 Tripp: Shepherding a Child's Heart (a short critique)

C3 The Child as Viper: How Voddie Baucham’s Theology of Children Promotes Abuse


Teach the importance of mercy.

B1 No one is perfect. All of us forget sometimes. All of us slop through a job sometimes. The key is sometimes. It should be rare, like not more than once a month. The older they are the more we should expect. We learn from mistakes and errors. Have mercy on your children. Share together what went wrong and what could have been done.

B2 Teach the importance of asking for forgiveness and showing mercy when another asks for forgives. Practice it yourself.

B3 We show others mercy when something is a mistake, something is misunderstood, something is really forgotten, something was an accident, etc. Mercy is not staying angry or seeking punishment even if the rule was broken, there were circumstances that we show mercy instead of punishment. Mercy should be shown when there is obvious repentance or sorrow for what happened and if necessary, offer amends.

B4 A quote:

God will judge those who refuse to show mercy and hold a grudge against others. Mercy is something I have struggled with on my walk of faith and maybe you have as well. I remember being mad at people because they said things behind my back, but God reminded me that I’ve done the exact same thing. You get mad at your kids for having to teach them something over and over, but God has had to teach you the same things over 1000 times. The same things that we get angry at people for is the same thing that we have done to others, but we are too prideful to see it. Before God we have done even worse things. We have to show mercy just like God has shown mercy on us. (Source).

B5 Matthew 5:7 ESV Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.


The importance of knowing you are not perfect

B1 We all fail, but a failing does not mean we are a failure.

B2 Apologize when wrong. Make amends if needed.

B3 Don’t be a legalist.

C1 This is following the rules so closely that there can be no deviation regardless of the situation.

C2 This is also believing that following somebody’s rules will bring blessings from God.

B4 Show some flexibility from time schedules when necessary. Things happen.

B5 Parents can do child raising near perfect and the child might still turn against what they were taught. You are not a failure. They are making bad choices. A parent is not responsible for their adult children.


Remember: Links are not necessarily endorsed. Always be cautious.



B1 9 Mistakes Parents Make That Lead Their Children to Absolute Failure

B2 Bible Verses for Parents 10 Bible Verses to Encourage Parents


There are special considerations for single parents, blended families, etc. that are not covered here.


Parents have a responsibility to raise their children. As much is humanly possible, we are

B1 To teach them the Scriptures and the Christian faith

B2 To develop them into mature, adults

B3 To be independent in taking care of themselves having basic life skills

B4 To be emotionally stable

B5 To be handle satisfaction, success, and disappointments

01 September 2020

A Few Thoughts About Raising Children Part 1


Psalm 127:3 NKJV Behold, children [are] a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb [is] a reward.


Links are not necessarily endorsed. Always be cautious.

Parents Responsibility

Parents have a responsibility to raise their children. As much is humanly possible, we are

B1 To teach them the Scriptures and the Christian faith

B2 To develop them into mature, adults

B3 To be independent in taking care of themselves having basic life skills

B4 To be emotionally stable

B5 To be handle satisfaction, success, and disappointments

Parents Decide Together

The importance of dad and mom deciding on a plan together before you have children.

B1 How to punish.

C1 One swat is enough. Make sure you mean business. Make sure the child knows WHY they are being punished.

D1 That one swat is a punishment. It is the consequence of deliberate disobedience. The child was warned but did not obey.

D2 As the children grow older, the swat needs to not be used.

C2 Find out what is the best punishment for each child. God used different methods of discipline. Jonah was thrown out of a ship (Jonah 1). King Manasseh was put in prison (2 Chronicles 33). Peter was warming himself by the fire (Mark 14:66-72). Thomas received a rebuke (John 20:27).

C3 For some children, a scowl is enough, and for others it will be something taken away (privileges, etc.). For some, it will be time out. Discuss this with your spouse!!!

C4 Spilled milk is not to be punished unless it was on purpose. These kinds of accidents are not a deliberate disobedience.

C5 Bible verses:

D1 Provoking to anger is interaction with your children which makes them angry. We must listen to what they are saying. It is an crucial step. An example would be to discipline them without telling them the clear rules before discipline and/or why they are being disciplined. We must be careful not to abuse our discipline. We shouldn’t be punishing a child because of their opinion.

E1 The goal of discipline is for edification, training, showing the consequences of choices. Ephesians 6:4 NLT Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

E2 They may lose heart, that is, they will quit trying. Colossians 3:21 NRSV Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart.

E3 Deuteronomy 28 God gives Israel the consequences of good choices as well as the consequences of evil choices. We need to be mindful of this in raising our children.

D2 Discipline is for training. It is to teach that the rule broken must be punished. It is for edification, not destruction. Punishment does not mean physical. Proverbs 22:6 NLT Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

B2 What the house rules will be.

C1 One rule we had was after each meal we brush our teeth. Those who do not brush their teeth, do not get dessert after the next meal that has a dessert. One time I forgot, so I didn’t get dessert either. Be consistent.

C2 Everyone sits at the table to eat and stays there until all have finished. I know sometimes it can’t be done but should be at least 90-95% of the time.

C3 Only ten minutes in the bathroom for elimination. Only 20 minutes at shower time. Don’t carry a stopwatch for this. The parents must follow the same rules. If you have only one bathroom and 11 living in the house, you understand what I’m saying.

C4 Decide together on your own household rules and be consistent.

C5 Don’t be so legalistic about it, that you carry a time watch. Mercy is useful. Things happen.

C6 Don’t interrupt others when they are talking.

C7 Going to bed and getting up consistent hours.

C8 Meals are completed before dessert. No excuses.

C9 Must eat what is served, so teach them appropriate amounts or help them when young.

C10 Parents usually must follow the same rules as the children.

B3 We need to support our spouse even if you disagree with a decision. Do not overrule them. For if you do, the child will play each of you against each other. Then, you and your spouse will fight and argue.

B4 If there is an issue that you have not decided on beforehand, then discuss and agree in private (if possible).

B5 You are a parent, not their best friend. You have your friends; they have theirs.

Above all, remember these words: Parents are not pals. In all your discussions and decisions, be careful not to cross the line from parenthood to friendship. Your job is not to be your child’s friend, but to be your child’s teacher, and source of parental love and discipline, to establish standards of conduct and to provide your child with a moral compass. Your children will not thank you for being a pal; at some point, they may wonder whether you care enough about them to be a parent.” (Source)

B6 Articles:

C1 It’s More Important to be Their Parent than Their Friend

C2 Be Your Kid’s Best Parent, Not Their Best Friend!

C3 7 Christian Family Rules For Teenagers

C4 25 Ways to Provoke Our Children to Anger

C5 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do

Protecting Children

The importance of protecting your children

B1 Don’t be a helicopter parent.

C1 This is defined as Some studies have shown that overprotective, overbearing or over-controlling parents can cause long-term mental health problems for their offspring. (Source) [Emphasis is mine]

C2 There are consequences of this as difficulty developing problem solving skills, independence when they are adults, self-control, not learning mature responses to failure, etc. You might want to ready the experience of a former helicopter parent here.

B2 Know who their friends are. Screen them. 1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."

B3 Don’t let them barricade themselves in their bedroom.

B4 They need to do chores and work around the house even when they are in high school.

B5 Limit social media when they are young and continue it. When they leave home, then it is their own responsibility.

B6 Some character traits we must teach and dolove, listen, patience, contentment, thankfulness, giving credit for work well done, helping others, compassion, gentleness, etc. What we instruct, we must practice.

B7 Some life skills we must teach and do

C1 Around home: cook a meal, sew a button, put out a frying pan fire, wash a window, wash clothes, clean house, organize your things,

C2 Around a car: change a tire, jump the battery, change windshield wipers, add air to a tire, thaw a frozen door, how to change oil, how to not be ripped off by a cheating mechanic

C3 Around the house careunplug a toilet, shut off the water to the house or at least to a toilet or water heater, use a fire extinguisher, get out of a house that is on fire, where to go in a severe storm or earthquake, how to mow the lawn, how to use a hammer, drill, saw, etc.

C4 Medicallylifesaver CPR, stay calm in an emergency, what to do with an overdose, how to stop a nosebleed, how to stop a bleed from an accident,

B7 Articles:

C1 5 Ways to Not Be Helicopter Parents

C2 The Effects of "Helicopter Parenting"

C3 10 Areas of Essential Life Skills for Teens

C4 Do Hard Things – 11 Ways to Help Our Boys Become Responsible Men

Spiritual Teaching

The importance of Spiritual teaching

B1 Regular church attendance of both parents and children.

B2 Regular devotions and prayer with you children.

B3 Listen to them. Do not interrupt them.

B4 Answer their questions. Do not use phrases as “because we say so, just believe the Bible, that’s the way we have always done it,” etc.

B5 Have your own Bible reading, study, prayer. Be consistent. Others are watching.

B6 The importance of being thankful and giving God credit for what He does and provides.

B7 The importance of being humble and not bullying to get your own way.

B8 Go out of your way to do something nice for your spouse and/or children. Let it be spontaneous. It doesn’t always need to be a gift; it can be assisting them in something.

B9 Pray for your children. Let them hear you.

B10 Memorize Bible verses together.

B11 Consider: Psalm 78:4-8.

B11 Articles:

C1 Daily Quiet Time Bible Study (This study is from 28 Aug 20)

C2 How to Start Your Family Bible Study (This emphasizes Logos Software and the Faithlife Study Bible, which you may want or not. I use Linux only, so it is of no use to me, though the Faithlife Study Bible has an Android app and online version). See also 45 Topical Bible Reading Plans from the same blog.

C3 15 Bible Verses for Every Christian to Memorize


The importance of obedience

B1 Starts at birth

C1 The parent is the authority, if you will, over the child. When a child needs a diaper change, it happens. Needs a bath? It is done. The child may holler, kick, put up all sorts of a fuss, but the diaper does get changed and the bath is completed.

C2 What is started at birth, needs to be continued. You have a good start, so why change and give in to your child when they fuss, whine, make excuses, etc. You did not give in when they were infants, so why start now?

B2 Teaching them to sit in a chair at 2 years old.

C1 It is possible.

C2 They learn self-control.

C3 It takes patience and time. My wife and I did this. There is no need to punish, just keep them there. Start by holding them still on your lap. This can be done in church, etc. Then, you can use that as a start.

B3 Let them choose their own clothes to wear when they are 4 years old or so. They might not match, but they will learn.

B4 This is a long topic depending on the age group, so I written very little.

B5 In the Scriptures, corporeal punishment is usually the last resort. First are corrections, then rebukes, letting them face the consequences of wrong decisions, etc.

B6 Children need to be shown patience, grace, and mercy like adults need. Don’t be overly strict.

B7 Don’t punish in anger. Wait a few minutes.

B8 If they are acting out, it may be something else is wrong. It may not be disobedience. It may be they are trying to get your attention for something.

B7 Articles:

C1 How to Teach Your Child Obedience (without Raising a Legalist)

C2 10 Things I Learned about Parenting from Supernanny

C3 Parenting: Respect Starts at Home

C4 10 things you must know when ministering to the child of divorce (or any child)

C5 Questions single parents have about disciplining their kids: how you can help

C6 Question of the week: Should we kick kids out of church?

C7 Searching here might help, too.


The importance of self-control

B1 Children are not to verbally abuse their parents. You set the example by not verbally abusing your spouse as well as not verbally abusing your children.

B2 Anger is ok. Listen to them and understand the reasons. Don’t interrupt except to clarify. Don’t start giving advicelisten! There is a limit to anger: Ephesians 4:26 ESV Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.

B3 Physically fighting the parent is not to be allowed.

B4 One warning is enough. Be consistent or the child will know they can continue without obeying you until you have said it 5 times or whatever. They are smarter than you.

B5 Have a routine, listen, don’t change the routine much or the child might start manipulating you by reminding you of the times you did not follow it. Stick to it. Don’t give in. For example, the child is hungry, and it is 30 minutes before supper. Supper is being prepared, but the child wants food NOW!!!! Sometimes it helps to assign a chore to them, which will help get supper ready faster.

B6 With older children

C1 Point out the truththey are out of control with the reality that yes, I am out-of-control. They must admit this.

C2 Ask, “How has this behavior affected you and/or your family and friends?”

C3 Then they need to recognize when they are out-of-control.

C4 There will be failures. Keeping at self-control until it becomes a habit.

C5 Encourage them. “You had a hard day, and kept your cool. Good job!”

B7 Articles:

C1 From managing impulsive behavior, resisting distractions, and learning the art of delayed gratification, to regulating emotions in the face of conflict and feelings of discomfort, self-regulatory behavior is key to success in all areas of our lives, and since children with poor self-control tend to exhibit more behavioral problems than their self-disciplined peers, teaching children self-control is more important than parents might think. (Source: How to Teach Children Self-Control: 7+ Self-Discipline Strategies for Kids)

C2 Developing Self-Control in our Children


Remember: Links are not necessarily endorsed. Always be cautious.


The importance of priorities

B1 God is the highest priority (Matthew 6:33). If a government demands us to disobey God, then we must disobey the government.

B2 Your spouse is a higher priority than the children.

B3 Your children are more important than your neighbor’s children.

B4 Work (as in chores, employment, etc.) is more important than pleasure. So also, for obligations (paying bills) and responsibilities.

B5 One of the biggest influences in teaching our children how to set priorities is to make sure we know what the priorities are and practice them consistently.

B6 Bible verses:

C1 Luke 12:34 EMTV For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

C2 Working too much is hard on the health, especially spiritual health. Psalms 127:2 ERV It is a waste of time to get up early and stay up late, trying to make a living. The Lord provides for those he loves, even while they are sleeping.

Good Habits

The importance of good habits

B1 Consistent good character traits like kindness, responsibility, compassion, being steadfast are best. Realize that no one is perfect. Practice what you preach. Children don’t like a hypocritical parent.

B2 Have a list of good habits, prioritize them, practice them, have a routine with them, be consistent, etc. Teach these. Play games practicing them.

B3 Good has been defined by God. Mark 10:18 NET Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.

B4 God first, so pray, read, and study your Bible, attend fellowship regularly.

B5 Our spouse is our second priority, so

C1 Show the thoughts, desires, words, and actions of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 WEL Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices with the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, calmly endures all things. 8 Love never falls away...

C2 Take the 5 Love Language test and do it.

C3 Pray, read, and study your Bible, attend fellowship regularly with your spouse.

C4 Show your love to your spouse openly.

C5 Your spouse is more important than your children.

B6 Your children are next priority.

C1 It might be helpful to take the 5 Love Language test for children, too.

C2 You might want to read How to Really Love Your Child by Ross Campbell.


The importance of listening

B1 Parents listening to their children

C1 Put down the phone, the computer, the book, etc. and listen. Clarify when you must. If you are only pretending to listen, you have just insulted your child. God listens to you, so you follow the example and listen to them.

C2 Believe them. If they say they have been molested, believe them. Notify law enforcement and let them decide if it is true or not.

C3 Just hearing them is not listening. You must know what they are saying and understanding it. Clarify if needed.

C4 You show love by listening.

C5 Just because you listen doesn’t mean you agree with them. Believe them but have a little skepticism. Children have been known to lie.

C6 Read James 1:19, Proverbs 18:13, Proverbs 18:2, and Psalm 116:1-2.

B2 Children listening to their parents

B3 Articles:

C1 4 Secrets Therapists Use to Be a Great Listener

C2 How to Be a Good Listener


The importance of truth

B1 Teach them what truth is.

C1 The Bible definition is reality, the simple correspondence theory.

C2 If I hit my thumb with a hammer, it hurts. I say, “That hurts.” Truth is reality.

B2 Do truth yourself in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds.

C1 Our yes must be yes, and our no must be no.

C2 We must confess our sin, mistakes, errors, etc. We must be truthful.

C3 We want the truth, so we must speak the truth. Zechariah 8:16 NIV These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts.

C4 Let us remember: 1 John 1:10 NIV If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

C5 Self-deception is a common lie but may have eternal consequences.

B3 Older children do not someone lying to them. Remind them of that fact.

B4 Teach them the consequences of lying.

C1 Distrust

C2 Disrespect (they know we are a liar)

C3 Suspicion

C4 Loss (money, belongings, etc.)

C5 How to Manage and Stop Chronic Lying in Children

C6 Why kids lie, and 7 ways to get them to tell the truth