Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

09 September 2018

1 Peter 3:1-7 and Submission

1 Peter 3:1-7 is often cited by those who wish to control wives. These are those men and pastors who feel a woman needs the strong hand of a man to guide her.

In reality, those types tend to be abusive. Abusive people are evil. There is no love, if there is any abuse.

A careful study of the passage in the plain, normal sense and understanding English language will NOT interpret this passage to dominate women.

The plain sense of Scripture in 1 Peter 3:1-7 shows
  • The situation of a Christian wife and non-Christian husband. The situation can be either husband or wife. It refers to one spouse being a Christian and the other is not.
  • The nonbeliever will not obey God’s command to repent and believe the Gospel.
  • The Christian can then, live the Gospel, by living the Christian life required by Messiah Jesus for both men and women, instead of pleading, perhaps nagging the unbeliever.
  • Hopefully, the non-Christian will see the superiority of the Christian life, repent, and believe the Gospel.
  • The Apostle reminds the Christian, whether wife or husband, to speak respectfully.
  • Be respectful and give honor to each other.
  • The Christian (this especially refers to the husband) will not have God answer his prayers, if he treats his wife with any hint of abuse.

In summary:
  • A controlling spouse cannot lawfully use this Scripture passage to force the other.
  • Word meanings in English have changed. Care must be taken to understand its use.
  • God is supreme. He is omniscient and omnisapient. His will and lifestyle is the best.
  • We must be of the mindset to do God’s will. To know God’s will, we must study the Bible and pray for wisdom.
  • Love your spouse as I have written in other articles about love.

A better translation understanding that the Greek word implies no defiance or resistance: 1 Peter 3:1-7 God’s Word Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands' authority. Some husbands may not obey God's word. Their wives could win these men for Christ by the way they live without saying anything. 2 Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are. 3 Wives must not let their beauty be something external. Beauty doesn't come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or clothes. 4 Rather, beauty is something internal that can't be destroyed. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers precious. 5 After all, this is how holy women who had confidence in God expressed their beauty in the past. They placed themselves under their husbands' authority 6 as Sarah did. Sarah obeyed Abraham and spoke to him respectfully. You became Sarah's daughters by not letting anything make you afraid to do good. 7 Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God's life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.

07 April 2018

Conditions for Divorce

My Understanding of Scriptural Reasons for Allowing Divorce

God's standard is marriage until one spouse dies. God's standard is never to steal, never to lie, never to covet, never to blaspheme, but we all know it happens. Sometimes marriages are wrong. Hence, my thoughts.

Conditions for Divorce

Len Gane


B1 God’s will
C1 Verses
D1 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, NKJV)
D2 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6, NKJV)
C1 Some may not want marriage
C2 Some may want but won’t be married
D1 No one available
D2 Eunuchs for the kingdom, or by force (as from a King)
E1 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only [those] to whom it has been given: “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from [their] mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept [it,] let him accept [it.”] (Matthew 19:11-12, NKJV)
E2 Jesus answered, “This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it. For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so.” (Matthew 19:11-12, GNB92)
D3 No one asked
B2 God blesses
C1 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Genesis 2:18, NKJV)
C2 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4, NKJV).
C3 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress? (Proverbs 5:18-20, NKJV).
C4 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NKJV)
C5 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 9:4-8a, NKJV)
C6 And many other verses


B1 Not God’s will: This is another thing you do. You drown the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and wailing because he no longer accepts the offerings you bring him. You ask why he no longer accepts them. It is because he knows you have broken your promise to the wife you married when you were young. She was your partner, and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her. Didn't God make you one body and spirit with her? What was his purpose in this? It was that you should have children who are truly God's people. So make sure that none of you breaks his promise to his wife. “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel. “I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.” (Malachi 2:13-16, GNB92)
B2 By permission
C1 Sexual sins
D1 Incest: The LORD gave the following regulations. Do not have sexual intercourse with any of your relatives. Do not disgrace your father by having intercourse with your mother. You must not disgrace your own mother. Do not disgrace your father by having intercourse with any of his other wives. Do not have intercourse with your sister or your stepsister, whether or not she was brought up in the same house with you. Do not have intercourse with your granddaughter; that would be a disgrace to you. Do not have intercourse with a half sister; she, too, is your sister. Do not have intercourse with an aunt, whether she is your father's sister or your mother's sister. --- Do not have intercourse with your uncle's wife; she, too, is your aunt. Do not have intercourse with your daughter-in-law or with your brother's wife. Do not have intercourse with the daughter or granddaughter of a woman with whom you have had intercourse; they may be related to you, and that would be incest. Do not take your wife's sister as one of your wives, as long as your wife is living. (Leviticus 18:6-18, GNB92)
D2 Adultery
E1 Verses
F1 When Jesus finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went to the territory of Judea on the other side of the Jordan River. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him and tried to trap him by asking, “Does our Law allow a man to divorce his wife for whatever reason he wishes?” Jesus answered, “Haven't you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male and female? And God said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’ So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together.” The Pharisees asked him, “Why, then, did Moses give the law for a man to hand his wife a divorce notice and send her away?” Jesus answered, “Moses gave you permission to divorce your wives because you are so hard to teach. But it was not like that at the time of creation. I tell you, then, that any man who divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, commits adultery if he marries some other woman.” (Matthew 19:1-9, GNB92)
F2 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32, NKJV)
E2 Comment
F1 Does not mean you must divorce
F2 Does mean it is allowed. Often this is preferred.
D3 Porn
E1 Verse: “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32, NKJV)
E2 Comment
F1 The word for sexual immorality is πορνεία porneia.
F2 The word includes adultery, incest, and porn
F3 This is a serious addiction that God hates.
F4 It is adultery in the heart.
F5 Can be repented of but not common.
C2 Desertion
D1 Physical leaving
E1 Verse: But if the unbelieving partners leave, let them go. Under these circumstances a Christian man or Christian woman is not bound by a marriage vow. God has called you to live in peace. (I Corinthians 7:15 [GodsWord])
E2 Comment
F1 Not all agree with this interpretation
F2 Many do
F3 The individual must decide
D2 Spiritual leaving
E1 This is becoming an agnostic, atheist, or abandoning Christ for another religion.
E2 This is allowed, because it is a denial of one’s vows and a spiritual danger to the believing spouse.
E3 Divorce is recommended.
E4 Remarriage is allowed.
D3 Abuse
E1 This is not because the toilet paper unrolls the wrong way.
E2 It is physical, sexual, spiritual, financial, mental, emotional, verbal, etc. abuse.
E3 This is desertion of the marriage vows.
E4 Divorce is recommended.
E5 No contact to low contact is necessary.
E6 Remarriage is allowed.
E7 1 Corinthians 5:11 GW Now, what I meant was that you should not associate with people who call themselves brothers or sisters in the Christian faith but live in sexual sin, are greedy, worship false gods, use abusive language, get drunk, or are dishonest. Don't eat with such people.
C3 If you stay, you may lose salvation
D1 A relationship that might lead to a denial of Jesus Christ
E1 Verses
F1 All these men had foreign wives. They divorced them and sent them and their children away. (Ezra 10:44, GNB92)
F2 “The LORD your God will bring you into the land that you are going to occupy, and he will drive many nations out of it. As you advance, he will drive out seven nations larger and more powerful than you: the Hittites, the Girgashites, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. When the LORD your God places these people in your power and you defeat them, you must put them all to death. Do not make an alliance with them or show them any mercy. Do not marry any of them, and do not let your children marry any of them, because then they would lead your children away from the LORD to worship other gods. If that happens, the LORD will be angry with you and destroy you at once. So then, tear down their altars, break their sacred stone pillars in pieces, cut down their symbols of the goddess Asherah, and burn their idols. Do this because you belong to the LORD your God. From all the peoples on earth he chose you to be his own special people. (Deuteronomy 7:1-6, GNB92)
E2 Comment
F1 Marrying non-Israelite women within the boundaries of Israel was forbidden for the reason given above. Deuteronomy 7:1-6
F2 Marrying non-Israelite women outside the boundaries of Israel was allowed
G1 “When you go to attack a city, first give its people a chance to surrender. If they open the gates and surrender, they are all to become your slaves and do forced labor for you. But if the people of that city will not surrender, but choose to fight, surround it with your army. Then, when the LORD your God lets you capture the city, kill every man in it. You may, however, take for yourselves the women, the children, the livestock, and everything else in the city. You may use everything that belongs to your enemies. The LORD has given it to you. That is how you are to deal with those cities that are far away from the land you will settle in. (Deuteronomy 20:10-15, GNB92)
G2 “When the LORD your God gives you victory in battle and you take prisoners, you may see among them a beautiful woman that you like and want to marry. Take her to your home, where she will shave her head, cut her fingernails, and change her clothes. She is to stay in your home and mourn for her parents for a month; after that, you may marry her. Later, if you no longer want her, you are to let her go free. Since you forced her to have intercourse with you, you cannot treat her as a slave and sell her. (Deuteronomy 21:10-14, GNB92)
D2 Might lead to a type of abuse, spiritual abuse.


B1 Not necessary
B2 If wished
C1 Allowable for
D1 Death: For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to [her] husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of [her] husband. So then if, while [her] husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. (Romans 7:2-3, NKJV)
D2 Permissible reasons (listed above)
C2 Only in the Lord: A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39, NKJV)


For sexual sins as incest (Leviticus 18:6-18), adultery (Matthew 19:1-9), porn, which is adultery (Matthew 19:1-9), desertion (1 Corinthians 7:15), if spouse causes spiritual danger (false religion, religiously militant, violent)(Ezra 10:44, Deuteronomy 7:1-6), abuse (including physical, spiritual, verbal, financial, sexual, emotional, etc. This is a desertion of marriage vows, and they always need to divorce)(see 1 Corinthians 5:11, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

31 January 2018

Marriage: The Foundation for Family and Discipleship

Theme: God created marriage

Scriptures: Genesis 2:18-24, Genesis 3:1-18, and Ephesians 5:22-23

Objectives: (From the D6 Fusion Sunday School Lesson book)
Know: God created marriage, and intends for a husband and wife to experience oneness through that relationship.
Think: My goal is to experience oneness with God and with my spouse.
Do: Recognize and follow biblical guidelines for marriage.

Notes and questions:
B1 What is marriage?
B2 Genesis 2:18-24,
C1 The word for man in Genesis 2:18 is אָדָם 'adam. It is a masculine noun.
C2 The word for help is עֵזֶר `ezer.
D1 It means help or assistance.
D2 It is usually used in a military sense as Deuteronomy 33:7 NKJV And this he said of Judah: “Hear, LORD, the voice of Judah, And bring him to his people; Let his hands be sufficient for him, And may You be a help against his enemies.”
D3 It is also used for someone helping as Psalms 33:20 NKJV Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.  
D4 Also, Psalms 121:1-2 NKJV I Will lift up my eyes to the hills– From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.
D5 What kind of help, assistance, did the Psalmist need?
D6 What kind of help, assistance, would Adam need?
D7 Was Adam lacking something?
D8 Was the help Adam needed just an assistant, a slave, to do his bidding?
D9 Was the help Adam needed was a partner to face life together?
C3 All livestock, birds, and all other animals were named by Adam, but there was not one that could be his helper. Why did not these meet Adam’s need?
C4 In Genesis 2:24 how many types of marriage meet God’s standard?
C5 The principle of one flesh
D1 One in body, soul, and spirit. One physically, emotionally, intellectually, in worship, in prayer, in troubles, in joys, whatever. Oneness in purpose. It is facing life together as a team.
D2 Other verses with oneness in the same sense
E1 John 10:16 NKJV “And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.
E2 John 17:11 NKJV Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are.
E3 Ephesians 4:4-6 NKJV There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
D3 If there is fighting, how can there be oneness?
D4 How can oneness be promoted, encouraged, assisted?
D5 How can husband and wife promote this in their marriage?
D6 How can the church help?
B3 Genesis 3:1-18,
C1 Eve was deceived. Does this mean that men are not deceived or less deceived?
C2 Adam sinned with purpose and knowledge. What was the result? (Romans 5:12 NKJV  Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned).
C3 What happened to their oneness after they both sinned?
C4 What happened to their oneness with God?
C5 What does being reconciled with God mean?
D1 Romans 5:10 NKJV For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
D2 2 Corinthians 5:18 NKJV  Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.
C6 Genesis 3:7 NKJV Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
D1 What were the eyes closed to before they sinned?
D2 Why did nakedness bother them now?
D3 How did sin affect their oneness and their marriage?
D4 How does sin affect us?
C7 Genesis 3:8 NKJV And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
D1 Why did they hide?
D2 What did God want?
C8 Genesis 3:12 NKJV Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
D1 Is Adam helping the oneness of his marriage?
D2 Why wasn’t he honest?
C3 Who is really being blamed for the sin?
C9 Genesis 3:13 NKJV And the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
D1 At least Eve tells the truth.
D2 Why is confessing to God good?
C10 Genesis 3:14-15, is there anything good in God’s curse?
C11 Genesis 3:16
D1 Versions
E1 NKJV To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
E2 ESV  To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”
E3 NLT Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband,but he will rule over you.
E4 GNB  And he said to the woman, "I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth. In spite of this, you will still have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him.
D2 Susan Foh in 1974 wrote an article on the meaning of Genesis 3:16, “What is the Woman’s Desire?”   An seasoned Christian response to this can be found: THE DESIRE OF THE WOMAN: A RESPONSE TO SUSAN FOH’S INTERPRETATION
D3 The most common view is that Eve now had the desire to rule, boss, her husband. Knowing this, God cursed Eve and commanded her to submit to her husband in all things.
D4 This is wrong because:
E1 The word desire is תְּשׁוּקָה tshuwqa. This word means longing and desire. So, what kind of desire? It depends on the context.
E2 It is used 3 times in the Old Testament:
F1 Genesis 3:16 (our passage)
F2 Genesis 4:7 NKJV “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”
F3 Song of Solomon 7:10 NKJV I am my beloved’s, And his desire is toward me.
E3 Genesis 4:7 Understanding it in context: Sins longs for, desires, lusts, for you to sin. This is mainly a spiritual longing, sin wants him to sin: James 1:14-15 NKJV But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. The Greek word for desire is ἐπιθυμία epithumia, which means a longing for.
E4 Song of Solomon 7:10 Understanding it in context: The wife notes her husband’s desire for her. This is mainly a physical longing.
E5 So in Genesis 3:16, I believe is best understood as (to paraphrase) “I can see you are very angry. He has blamed you and me for his rebellion, and you would like to wring his neck. What is better is for you to still desire him (physically), and even though he made an evil decision, he still is your husband.” The he shall rule means that he is to have the last word in a decision. It does NOT mean his way or no way, for that is hate instead of love and will never have another answer to prayer: 1 Peter 3:7 GNB  In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
D5 Egalitarian or complementarian? This is my personal view
E1 Egalitarian
F1 In nursing for over 40 years, my immediate manager was always a woman. I had a few male supervisors in charge after the manager went home and a few CEO’s as well.
F2 President can be a woman.
F3 Seminary class teacher can be a woman.
F4 Deaconesses are necessary.
F5 CEO of large corporations can be a woman.
F6 So in all areas of living, a woman is often the best.
E2 Complementarian
F1 In marriage, the range is from patriarchy to matriarchy.
G1 The strong patriarchy is the wife has little or no input.
G2 The strong matriarchy is where the husband has little or no input.
G3 The strong versions usually are dominated by either a narcissist or psychopath.
F2 Both are not good.
F3 I hold to a 51-49% husband/wife.
F4 We are partners, teammates, going through life together. A problem arises, we discuss it, and arrive at a solution. This solution is not just the husband’s or the wife’s. It is together in agreement. Sometimes the solution is not easy and will differ greatly. Then the wife should yield to her husband. If that solution works out—fine. If it does not, the husband must yield to the wife’s solution.
B4 Ephesians 5:22-23,
C1 Reviewing Ephesians 5:21 WEL  Place yourselves under one another in the fear of God.
Other versions use submit, etc. The Greek word ὑποτάσσω hupotasso means to place under. Blue Letter Bible has this comment under the heading Outline of Biblical Usage: This word was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden." There is no idea of resistance as submit, subject, submission has in English.
C2 Ephesians 5:22-23 WEL 22 Wives place yourselves under your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the congregation, and Himself is savior of the body.
C3 What does your own husband imply?
C4 How is Jesus the Messiah head of the church (Congregation)?
C5 What is the body in Ephesians 5:23?
B5 Other questions:
C1 Oneness
D1 What is oneness with God?
D2 What is oneness with our spouse?
D3 How is oneness with God broken?
D4 How is oneness with our spouse broken?
D5 How can oneness be restored with God?
D6 How can oneness be restored with our spouse?
D7 Can an atheist have oneness with his/her spouse?
D8 How did Adam’s sin change oneness with God?
D9 How did Adam’s sin change oneness with Eve?
C2 What style of leadership does God use—shepherd or hunter?
D1 Shepherd
E1 Psalms 23:1-6 NKJV The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.
E2 John 10:27 NKJV My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. No whip is required—Elon J. Gane.
D2 Hunter
E1 Genesis 10:8-9 ISV Cush fathered Nimrod, who became the first fearless leader throughout the land. He became a fearless hunter in defiance of the Lord. That is why it is said, “Like Nimrod, a fearless hunter in defiance of the Lord.
E2 Matthew 20:25 GNB92 So Jesus called them all together and said, “You know that the rulers of the heathen have power over them, and the leaders have complete authority.
C3 If husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, how are we to show this?
C4 How are wives to show respect for their husbands?
C5 Can our marriage be a witness to nonbelievers?
B6 Next week:
C1 When families are not perfect
C2 Theme: Biblical families
C3 Scriptures
D1 Genesis 17:9
D2 Genesis 17:15-19
D3 Esther 2:5-7
D4 Acts 16:1
D5 2 Timothy 1:5
D6 Titus 1:4