Girl Redeemed: Though my siblings NEVER apologize and continue the same abusive behaviors toward me, and sometimes my husband, I am expected to be a good Christian and forget about it almost immediately. (Source)
Colleen: Thank you so much for this. I have had people tell me I need to forgive my offender and no matter how much I say I have it doesn’t seem to be the answer they were looking for. Now I see that they were pushing for reconciliation of the forgive-and-forget kind. My offender told me I was playing the victim when I kindly but firmly tried to explain the hurts he had done. (Source)
Natalie: He said he was sorry, so I need to give him a fresh start.We hear this in religious circles quite often. “Forgive and forget.” “Turn the other cheek.” “Love covers up a multitude of sins.” (Source)
04 June 2019
05 December 2018
You should read the entire article.
The 8 Types of Abusive BehaviorBy Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC
09 September 2018
The situation of a Christian wife and non-Christian husband. The situation can be either husband or wife. It refers to one spouse being a Christian and the other is not.
The nonbeliever will not obey God’s command to repent and believe the Gospel.
The Christian can then, live the Gospel, by living the Christian life required by Messiah Jesus for both men and women, instead of pleading, perhaps nagging the unbeliever.
Hopefully, the non-Christian will see the superiority of the Christian life, repent, and believe the Gospel.
The Apostle reminds the Christian, whether wife or husband, to speak respectfully.
Be respectful and give honor to each other.
The Christian (this especially refers to the husband) will not have God answer his prayers, if he treats his wife with any hint of abuse.
A controlling spouse cannot lawfully use this Scripture passage to force the other.
Word meanings in English have changed. Care must be taken to understand its use.
God is supreme. He is omniscient and omnisapient. His will and lifestyle is the best.
We must be of the mindset to do God’s will. To know God’s will, we must study the Bible and pray for wisdom.
Love your spouse as I have written in other articles about love.
07 April 2018
My Understanding of Scriptural Reasons for Allowing Divorce
God's standard is marriage until one spouse dies. God's standard is never to steal, never to lie, never to covet, never to blaspheme, but we all know it happens. Sometimes marriages are wrong. Hence, my thoughts.
08 March 2017
A shaggaion of David, which he sang to the LORD concerning Cush, a Benjamite. O LORD my God, in you do I put my trust: save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me Lest they tear my soul like a lion, rending it in pieces, while there is none to deliver.O LORD my God, if I have done this; if there be iniquity in my hands; If I have rewarded evil unto him that was at peace with me; (yea, I have delivered him that without cause is my enemy:) Let the enemy persecute my soul, and take it; yea, let him tread down my life upon the earth, and lay my honor in the dust. Selah. Arise, O LORD, in your anger, lift up yourself because of the rage of my enemies: and awake for me to the judgment that you have commanded. Psalm 7:1-6
Abuse can come from pastors, government, teachers, parents, spouses, and many others. Abuse is wrong.
One of the best things to do is be aware. After being aware, one must challenge.
Here is an important article about fleshing out an abuser.
Recently I was reminded still once more of how the wicked react when their evil is exposed and they are called to account. The fangs come out. The bullying begins. They are like vicious, wild animals snapping at their prey. In this account here in Acts 7, Stephen has just confronted the Jews with their sins:Remember pastors can be abusers. We need to know. We need to be informed. Don't fall for an abuser.
"You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you. Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who announced beforehand the coming of the Righteous One, whom you have now betrayed and murdered." (Acts 7:51-52)
It sets them off like a pack of wolves and of course as we know, they murdered Stephen right there. https://cryingoutforjustice.com/2017/03/08/a-sure-sign-of-a-bully-or-abuser-the-gnashing-of-teeth/
Other articles on identifying abusers can be found here: https://cryingoutforjustice.com/tag/identifying-abusers/
Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour 1 Peter 5:8
Since the devil is prowling around, we need to be alert for those who are like him.
19 February 2015
All people definitely need to avoid marrying an abuser. How can you tell one? This article offers some excellent. I have seen men and women who have been abused. One doesn't even need to ask. There may be the obvious like bruises, but the other signs are there, too. The best is to avoid.
I think there are almost always red flags waving high and clear, but very few young people are willing to acknowledge them when passions are waving higher. We've all experienced this either in our own lives or as we've observed the lives of other young people. It's all about the "here and now." The FEELINGS. The romance. The dream. The excitement. The longings fulfilled.
Nobody wants to be practical. How dull.
The hard, stone-cold fact is, if a young person refuses to look carefully at the other person from all the angles, taking time to observe objectively and get the input of other objective observers, the feelings, romance, dream, excitement, and fulfilled longings will all end in a shocking and abrupt ending at the altar.
And then there's the long "and they lived…horribly ever after."
I'm not talking about the normal transition from the amazing drama of the dating days to the daily grind. Everyone goes through that and GROWS through that. I'm talking about when you wake up and realize with horror that you are married to an abusive spouse.
How can you avoid this? An abuser doesn't introduce himself like this, "Hello – it's nice to meet you. I'd like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part."
The Bible has some advice, some guides, and some rules. Here are some:
- Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NKJV)
- But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. (Malachi 2:15, NKJV)
- Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, GNB92)
- In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7, GNB92)
Showing love to our spouse (or to be spouse) involves giving. Please read the article to avoid some heartache.