Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts

09 September 2018

1 Peter 3:1-7 and Submission




1 Peter 3:1-7 is often cited by those who wish to control wives. These are those men and pastors who feel a woman needs the strong hand of a man to guide her.

In reality, those types tend to be abusive. Abusive people are evil. There is no love, if there is any abuse.

A careful study of the passage in the plain, normal sense and understanding English language will NOT interpret this passage to dominate women.

The plain sense of Scripture in 1 Peter 3:1-7 shows
  • The situation of a Christian wife and non-Christian husband. The situation can be either husband or wife. It refers to one spouse being a Christian and the other is not.
  • The nonbeliever will not obey God’s command to repent and believe the Gospel.
  • The Christian can then, live the Gospel, by living the Christian life required by Messiah Jesus for both men and women, instead of pleading, perhaps nagging the unbeliever.
  • Hopefully, the non-Christian will see the superiority of the Christian life, repent, and believe the Gospel.
  • The Apostle reminds the Christian, whether wife or husband, to speak respectfully.
  • Be respectful and give honor to each other.
  • The Christian (this especially refers to the husband) will not have God answer his prayers, if he treats his wife with any hint of abuse.

In summary:
  • A controlling spouse cannot lawfully use this Scripture passage to force the other.
  • Word meanings in English have changed. Care must be taken to understand its use.
  • God is supreme. He is omniscient and omnisapient. His will and lifestyle is the best.
  • We must be of the mindset to do God’s will. To know God’s will, we must study the Bible and pray for wisdom.
  • Love your spouse as I have written in other articles about love.

A better translation understanding that the Greek word implies no defiance or resistance: 1 Peter 3:1-7 God’s Word Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands' authority. Some husbands may not obey God's word. Their wives could win these men for Christ by the way they live without saying anything. 2 Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are. 3 Wives must not let their beauty be something external. Beauty doesn't come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or clothes. 4 Rather, beauty is something internal that can't be destroyed. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers precious. 5 After all, this is how holy women who had confidence in God expressed their beauty in the past. They placed themselves under their husbands' authority 6 as Sarah did. Sarah obeyed Abraham and spoke to him respectfully. You became Sarah's daughters by not letting anything make you afraid to do good. 7 Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God's life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.

07 April 2018

Conditions for Divorce


My Understanding of Scriptural Reasons for Allowing Divorce

God's standard is marriage until one spouse dies. God's standard is never to steal, never to lie, never to covet, never to blaspheme, but we all know it happens. Sometimes marriages are wrong. Hence, my thoughts.


Conditions for Divorce

Len Gane
2017

Marriage

B1 God’s will
C1 Verses
D1 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, NKJV)
D2 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6, NKJV)
C1 Some may not want marriage
C2 Some may want but won’t be married
D1 No one available
D2 Eunuchs for the kingdom, or by force (as from a King)
E1 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only [those] to whom it has been given: “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from [their] mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept [it,] let him accept [it.”] (Matthew 19:11-12, NKJV)
E2 Jesus answered, “This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it. For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some, because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so.” (Matthew 19:11-12, GNB92)
D3 No one asked
B2 God blesses
C1 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Genesis 2:18, NKJV)
C2 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4, NKJV).
C3 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress? (Proverbs 5:18-20, NKJV).
C4 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NKJV)
C5 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 9:4-8a, NKJV)
C6 And many other verses

Divorce

B1 Not God’s will: This is another thing you do. You drown the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and wailing because he no longer accepts the offerings you bring him. You ask why he no longer accepts them. It is because he knows you have broken your promise to the wife you married when you were young. She was your partner, and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her. Didn't God make you one body and spirit with her? What was his purpose in this? It was that you should have children who are truly God's people. So make sure that none of you breaks his promise to his wife. “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel. “I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.” (Malachi 2:13-16, GNB92)
B2 By permission
C1 Sexual sins
D1 Incest: The LORD gave the following regulations. Do not have sexual intercourse with any of your relatives. Do not disgrace your father by having intercourse with your mother. You must not disgrace your own mother. Do not disgrace your father by having intercourse with any of his other wives. Do not have intercourse with your sister or your stepsister, whether or not she was brought up in the same house with you. Do not have intercourse with your granddaughter; that would be a disgrace to you. Do not have intercourse with a half sister; she, too, is your sister. Do not have intercourse with an aunt, whether she is your father's sister or your mother's sister. --- Do not have intercourse with your uncle's wife; she, too, is your aunt. Do not have intercourse with your daughter-in-law or with your brother's wife. Do not have intercourse with the daughter or granddaughter of a woman with whom you have had intercourse; they may be related to you, and that would be incest. Do not take your wife's sister as one of your wives, as long as your wife is living. (Leviticus 18:6-18, GNB92)
D2 Adultery
E1 Verses
F1 When Jesus finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went to the territory of Judea on the other side of the Jordan River. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him and tried to trap him by asking, “Does our Law allow a man to divorce his wife for whatever reason he wishes?” Jesus answered, “Haven't you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male and female? And God said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.’ So they are no longer two, but one. No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together.” The Pharisees asked him, “Why, then, did Moses give the law for a man to hand his wife a divorce notice and send her away?” Jesus answered, “Moses gave you permission to divorce your wives because you are so hard to teach. But it was not like that at the time of creation. I tell you, then, that any man who divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, commits adultery if he marries some other woman.” (Matthew 19:1-9, GNB92)
F2 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32, NKJV)
E2 Comment
F1 Does not mean you must divorce
F2 Does mean it is allowed. Often this is preferred.
D3 Porn
E1 Verse: “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32, NKJV)
E2 Comment
F1 The word for sexual immorality is πορνεία porneia.
F2 The word includes adultery, incest, and porn
F3 This is a serious addiction that God hates.
F4 It is adultery in the heart.
F5 Can be repented of but not common.
C2 Desertion
D1 Physical leaving
E1 Verse: But if the unbelieving partners leave, let them go. Under these circumstances a Christian man or Christian woman is not bound by a marriage vow. God has called you to live in peace. (I Corinthians 7:15 [GodsWord])
E2 Comment
F1 Not all agree with this interpretation
F2 Many do
F3 The individual must decide
D2 Spiritual leaving
E1 This is becoming an agnostic, atheist, or abandoning Christ for another religion.
E2 This is allowed, because it is a denial of one’s vows and a spiritual danger to the believing spouse.
E3 Divorce is recommended.
E4 Remarriage is allowed.
D3 Abuse
E1 This is not because the toilet paper unrolls the wrong way.
E2 It is physical, sexual, spiritual, financial, mental, emotional, verbal, etc. abuse.
E3 This is desertion of the marriage vows.
E4 Divorce is recommended.
E5 No contact to low contact is necessary.
E6 Remarriage is allowed.
E7 1 Corinthians 5:11 GW Now, what I meant was that you should not associate with people who call themselves brothers or sisters in the Christian faith but live in sexual sin, are greedy, worship false gods, use abusive language, get drunk, or are dishonest. Don't eat with such people.
C3 If you stay, you may lose salvation
D1 A relationship that might lead to a denial of Jesus Christ
E1 Verses
F1 All these men had foreign wives. They divorced them and sent them and their children away. (Ezra 10:44, GNB92)
F2 “The LORD your God will bring you into the land that you are going to occupy, and he will drive many nations out of it. As you advance, he will drive out seven nations larger and more powerful than you: the Hittites, the Girgashites, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. When the LORD your God places these people in your power and you defeat them, you must put them all to death. Do not make an alliance with them or show them any mercy. Do not marry any of them, and do not let your children marry any of them, because then they would lead your children away from the LORD to worship other gods. If that happens, the LORD will be angry with you and destroy you at once. So then, tear down their altars, break their sacred stone pillars in pieces, cut down their symbols of the goddess Asherah, and burn their idols. Do this because you belong to the LORD your God. From all the peoples on earth he chose you to be his own special people. (Deuteronomy 7:1-6, GNB92)
E2 Comment
F1 Marrying non-Israelite women within the boundaries of Israel was forbidden for the reason given above. Deuteronomy 7:1-6
F2 Marrying non-Israelite women outside the boundaries of Israel was allowed
G1 “When you go to attack a city, first give its people a chance to surrender. If they open the gates and surrender, they are all to become your slaves and do forced labor for you. But if the people of that city will not surrender, but choose to fight, surround it with your army. Then, when the LORD your God lets you capture the city, kill every man in it. You may, however, take for yourselves the women, the children, the livestock, and everything else in the city. You may use everything that belongs to your enemies. The LORD has given it to you. That is how you are to deal with those cities that are far away from the land you will settle in. (Deuteronomy 20:10-15, GNB92)
G2 “When the LORD your God gives you victory in battle and you take prisoners, you may see among them a beautiful woman that you like and want to marry. Take her to your home, where she will shave her head, cut her fingernails, and change her clothes. She is to stay in your home and mourn for her parents for a month; after that, you may marry her. Later, if you no longer want her, you are to let her go free. Since you forced her to have intercourse with you, you cannot treat her as a slave and sell her. (Deuteronomy 21:10-14, GNB92)
D2 Might lead to a type of abuse, spiritual abuse.

Remarriage

B1 Not necessary
B2 If wished
C1 Allowable for
D1 Death: For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to [her] husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of [her] husband. So then if, while [her] husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. (Romans 7:2-3, NKJV)
D2 Permissible reasons (listed above)
C2 Only in the Lord: A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39, NKJV)

Summary:

For sexual sins as incest (Leviticus 18:6-18), adultery (Matthew 19:1-9), porn, which is adultery (Matthew 19:1-9), desertion (1 Corinthians 7:15), if spouse causes spiritual danger (false religion, religiously militant, violent)(Ezra 10:44, Deuteronomy 7:1-6), abuse (including physical, spiritual, verbal, financial, sexual, emotional, etc. This is a desertion of marriage vows, and they always need to divorce)(see 1 Corinthians 5:11, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10).





08 March 2017

RE: A Sure Sign of an Abuser

Abuse of any sort is evil.

A shaggaion of David, which he sang to the LORD concerning Cush, a Benjamite. O LORD my God, in you do I put my trust: save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me Lest they tear my soul like a lion, rending it in pieces, while there is none to deliver.O LORD my God, if I have done this; if there be iniquity in my hands; If I have rewarded evil unto him that was at peace with me; (yea, I have delivered him that without cause is my enemy:) Let the enemy persecute my soul, and take it; yea, let him tread down my life upon the earth, and lay my honor in the dust. Selah. Arise, O LORD, in your anger, lift up yourself because of the rage of my enemies: and awake for me to the judgment that you have commanded. Psalm 7:1-6

Abuse can come from pastors, government, teachers, parents, spouses, and many others. Abuse is wrong.

One of the best things to do is be aware. After being aware, one must challenge.

Here is an important article about fleshing out an abuser.

Recently I was reminded still once more of how the wicked react when their evil is exposed and they are called to account. The fangs come out. The bullying begins. They are like vicious, wild animals snapping at their prey. In this account here in Acts 7, Stephen has just confronted the Jews with their sins:
"You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you. Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who announced beforehand the coming of the Righteous One, whom you have now betrayed and murdered." (Acts 7:51-52)
It sets them off like a pack of wolves and of course as we know, they murdered Stephen right there.  https://cryingoutforjustice.com/2017/03/08/a-sure-sign-of-a-bully-or-abuser-the-gnashing-of-teeth/ 
 Remember pastors can be abusers. We need to know. We need to be informed. Don't fall for an abuser.

Other articles on identifying abusers can be found here: https://cryingoutforjustice.com/tag/identifying-abusers/

Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour 1 Peter 5:8

Since the devil is prowling around, we need to be alert for those who are like him.

19 February 2015

Avoid Marrying an Abuser

All people definitely need to avoid marrying an abuser. How can you tell one? This article offers some excellent. I have seen men and women who have been abused. One doesn't even need to ask. There may be the obvious like bruises, but the other signs are there, too. The best is to avoid.

Deal Breakers: Advice to Unmarried Women (and Daughters)

I think there are almost always red flags waving high and clear, but very few young people are willing to acknowledge them when passions are waving higher. We've all experienced this either in our own lives or as we've observed the lives of other young people. It's all about the "here and now." The FEELINGS. The romance. The dream. The excitement. The longings fulfilled.

Nobody wants to be practical. How dull.

The hard, stone-cold fact is, if a young person refuses to look carefully at the other person from all the angles, taking time to observe objectively and get the input of other objective observers, the feelings, romance, dream, excitement, and fulfilled longings will all end in a shocking and abrupt ending at the altar.

And then there's the long "and they lived…horribly ever after."

I'm not talking about the normal transition from the amazing drama of the dating days to the daily grind. Everyone goes through that and GROWS through that. I'm talking about when you wake up and realize with horror that you are married to an abusive spouse.

How can you avoid this? An abuser doesn't introduce himself like this, "Hello – it's nice to meet you. I'd like to take you on a whirlwind romance, sweep you off your feet, marry you, and then abuse you until death do us part."

The Bible has some advice, some guides, and some rules. Here are some:

  1. Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9, NKJV)
  2. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. (Malachi 2:15, NKJV)
  3. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, GNB92)
  4. In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are more delicate than you. Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God's gift of life. Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7, GNB92)

Showing love to our spouse (or to be spouse) involves giving. Please read the article to avoid some heartache.