Showing posts with label abusers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abusers. Show all posts

05 December 2018

Many Forms of Abusive Behavior

A good article to inform us of the many forms of abuse. No one should experience abuse. Sometimes, it is confusing to know, so we might wonder, "Is this abuse?"

You should read the entire article.

The 8 Types of Abusive Behavior

By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC

Aaron wrongly believed that the only type of abuse was physical and then only if it left a mark. This is a common misunderstanding in our culture. When he took some time to review the different types of abuse, he realized that he experienced it in his marriage, from his parents, and on occasion was guilty of abusive behavior as well.
There are many other ways a person can be abused. Abuse can be manipulation, exploitation, maltreatment, neglect, violence, cruelty, harm, hurt, ill-treatment, and exploitive. The seven main ways it is manifested is through physical, mental, verbal, emotional, financial, sexual and spiritual. Legal abuse is very specific and is not readily seen, however, it does occur. The following list is not inclusive but rather provides an opportunity to explore, evaluate and discuss any potentially destructive behavior.
Aaron used this list as a checklist, marking up his and other’s errors in behavior. Awareness is the first step to stopping abuse.
Physical Abuse. Has the victim experienced:
  • Intimidation – Bullying by standing over, looking down, or getting “in your face” and then refusing to back off.
  • Isolation – Limiting the ability to escape from or abandoning in dangerous situations.
  • Restraint – Confines by blocking a doorway, grabbing when trying to leave, locking doors with no key, or tying up.
  • Aggression – Hitting, kicking, punching, arm twisting, pushing, beating, shoving, biting, slapping, striking with an object, throwing objects, shaking, pinching, choking, hair pulling, dragging, burning, cutting, stabbing, strangling, and force-feeding (including overdose or misuse of drugs/alcohol).
  • Endangerment – Verbal threats of killing mixed with physical violence and use of weapons.
Mental Abuse. Has the victim experienced:

05 December 2016

Sin Has No Excuse

Often the excuse for some sin is "I was raised that way," or "I can't help it, because I was abused." Now abuse is horrible and has no excuse, but for an abuser or any other sin that cannot be an excuse.

Here is an excellent article by Pastor Jeff Crippen. It is addressed mainly to narcissistic abusers, but it certainly applies to all sinners.
It is quite common for abusers to claim that they were abused when they were children and, when cornered, offer this as an excuse for their abuse of others. We must not permit them to do so. Let me explain why.
Firstly, there are many, many, many people in this world who were abused as children but who are not abusers themselves. And there are abusers who were not abused as children. The one simply does not automatically lead to the other (ie, childhood abuse produces abusers).Secondly, the Lord does not accept this as an excuse for wickedness. Each of us...
 If you are abused, know someone who is abused, or if you are an abuser, then this ministry can help you.

Read the rest here:

19 July 2016

Can Abusers Change?

When dealing with narcissists, psychopaths, and various types of abusers, it is important to know truth. The false truth that they spout is to be recognized and resisted. The abused must leave. In this short piece, some good advice is given.

Can Abusers Change?

To say that abusers cannot change removes responsibility for sin. They can change, but the vast majority choose not to, which is what the experts state. When God punishes them, their punishment is just. Abusers have options for treatment and are accountable.
Once the marriage covenant is broken through abuse, the abused partner does not need to stay in the marriage waiting for the abuser to change. The abuser's recovery is a separate issue and his change is his own responsibility, not his wife's. This is the mistake most churches make. These churches have over-sentimentalized marriage and are legalists.
The article is short but to the point. The web site is Crying out for Justice.  They are on Facebook as well.

If you or a member of your family, or if you are in a church situation where the pastor or other leaders are abusers, this is a helpful site. Again one must leave abuse.

God bless.