Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts

21 November 2018

Ephesians 4:24-32



A1 Scriptures
Ephesians 4:24-32 NKJV And that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. 25 Therefore, putting away lying, "LET EACH ONE OF YOU SPEAK TRUTH WITH HIS NEIGHBOR," for we are members of one another. 26 "BE ANGRY, AND DO NOT SIN": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
A2 Outline
B1 The New Man
C1 To be put on.
C2 Which was created in God's image.
D1 In true righteousness
D2 In true holiness
B2 Practice Instructions for the Church
C1 Do not lie anymore.
C2 Do not be angry anymore.
C3 Do not steal any more.
C4 Do not be lazy anymore.
C5 Do not be selfish anymore.
C6 Do not speak stupid stuff any more.
C7 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit any more.
C8 Do not be bitter anymore.
C9 Do not have wrath any more.
C10 Do not have anger any more.
C11 Do not be loud, insistent, and demanding any more.
C12 Do not speak evil any more.
C13 Do not have malice any more.
C14 Do not be unkind any more.
C15 Do not be hard hearted any more.
C16 Do not refuse to forgive any more.
A3 Notes
B1 Put on = as in clothes. What we wear often reflects on our lifestyle, habits, personality, tastes, etc. As in (The night is nearly over, and the day is near; so let us get rid of the works of the darkness, and let us put on the weapons of the light—Romans 13:12 WPNT) we are to take off evil and wear the armor of light. What we wear should be consistent to who we are and believe. If we are evil, we should look evil. If we are not evil, we should not look evil. Here we are to put on something. That something is the new man. We have a new attitude. This is renewed as the old attitude, desires, views, standards are to be discarded. The new here is all that is contained in the New Testament. Mind here stands for the part of a human that reasons, thinks, makes decisions, etc.
B2 New man = the new creation. The work of rebirth done by God himself without any works from us. The old flesh is still present with us, gets sick, and eventually dies.
B3 The new man is in God's image. The first, of Adam, was lost, damaged, corrupted because of sin.
B4 True righteousness = not a fake righteousness, facade, or hypocrisy. Many have an outward, religious appearing holiness which is not truth. Righteousness is defined by God's character and His thoughts, desires, words, and deeds. True righteousness is found in the inner self.
B5 True holiness = not a fake holiness of someone parading around pretending to be a holy man/woman. "So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward." (Matthew 6:2 NRSV)
B6 The Greek in verse 24 reads "righteousness and true holiness."
B7 A list of 16 rules from God for the way that we are to live.
C1 No lies—little lies, big lies, medium lies. God does not lie, therefore we should not either. If caught in a lie, confess it. "I just caught myself in a lie; please forgive me. Here is the truth."
C2 No anger. Anger is "the strong feeling you get when you think someone has treated you badly or unfairly, that makes you want to hurt them or shout at them—Macmillan Dictionary. Consider—But I say to you that whoever gets angry with his brother without cause will be liable to the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Numskull!’ will be liable to the council. But whoever says, ‘You absolute idiot!’ will be liable to hell fire." (Matthew 5:22 WPNT). Pickering notes, "God hates injustice and will judge it. Less than 2% of the Greek manuscripts, of inferior quality, omit “without cause” (as in NIV, NASB, LB, TEV, etc.). NIV, NASB and LB favor us with a footnote informing us that “some manuscripts” add ‘without cause—by “some” they mean 98% of them!! More serious, the shorter text has the effect of forbidding anger, which would contradict other Scriptures ("Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah"—Psalms 4:4 NKJV) and the Lord's own example ("After looking around at them with anger, being grieved at the hardness of their hearts, He says to the man, “Stretch out your hand!” So he stretched, and his hand was restored as healthy as the other!"—Mark 3:5 WPNT) The point anger will be experienced, but we must not let the sun go down before we have cooled off. Holding on to anger causes many problems.
C3 No stealing—taking what is not ours. It is due to covetousness. It can be taking people, time, property, affections, keeping what we should be giving.
C4 No laziness—Work instead. If for some reason you cannot find a job, look for one say maybe once a week. In the meantime study something, volunteer for something or someone. Do something valuable for God, His church, or society.
C5 No selfishness
C6 No stupid talking—teasing is OK for a little well, but then it becomes verbal abuse. What we are to talk about is for edifying, not destroying someone. People die from bullying. It is serious.
C7 No grieving the Holy Spirit—What is grieving the Holy Spirit? When I was young, maybe 9 or 10, my Grandma Gane hired a paper hanger. He was a professional. She had bought a dozen donuts for all of us to enjoy at break time. While he was papering, I was sneaking donuts. When break time arrived, Grandma got the donuts out and saw only 1 donut in the box. She looked at me and said, "O, Lenny." That is right I had eaten 11 donuts. I felt bad but I had caused Grandma grief. So it is with the Holy Spirit. He has plans for us and when we disobey, we grieve Him—not a smart thing to do. "How often they rebelled against Him in the wilderness and grieved Him in the desert."—Psalms 78:40, HCSB). "But they rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit. So He became their enemy and fought against them."—Isaiah 63:10, HCSB)
C8 No bitterness—bitterness is what happens in prolonged disappointment of any type. Have you or I ever made a promise and did not keep it? That type of action can lead to bitterness in the person who was promised something. What you don't listen—really listen—to your spouse when he/she wants to talk? You are causing bitterness. Bitterness leads to abuse and acting out from pent up anger.
C9 No wrath—the type of anger when one is out of control. Go talk a walk. Don't drive just walk.
C10 No anger.
C11 No clamoring—loud, insistent, and demanding. This is one way of expressing anger.
C12 No speaking evil—as in slander, blasphemy, lies, verbal abuse of any kind.
C13 No malice—is deep hatred with action as in "When his brothers saw that their father loved Joseph more than he loved them, they hated their brother so much that they would not speak to him in a friendly manner—Genesis 37:4, GNB92.
C14 No unkindness—think of being kind to animals. Therefore no ill will, causing pain or discomfort to any, being aware of people's needs. Do be a narcissist.
C15 No hard heartedness—stubborn to cause and retain ill feelings towards others. "he told us to ask you, ‘Please forgive the crime your brothers committed when they wronged you.' Now please forgive us the wrong that we, the servants of your father's God, have done.” Joseph cried when he received this message. (Genesis 50:17, GNB92).
C16 No more refusing to forgive—forgiveness is not letting someone get away with punishment but is turning that punishment over to God, who judges perfectly. When I forgive some, God may or may not forgive.
B8 Verse 25: Who is our neighbor? It is any one we meet. In this verse it is especially referring to members of the church. We are members of one another. Jesus Christ is the head, and all the believers (the saints) are the body.
B9 Verse 26: Anger held on to is unhealthy.
Healthy and Unhealthy Anger (This link is dead as of 10 Dec 14)
Showing the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger.
Introduction, anger is a natural and necessary emotion. Anger is anger, it is in itself neither right nor wrong, healthy nor unhealthy. It is the expression of anger that makes it healthy or unhealthy. When it is expressed appropriately within the context of a situation it is a necessary emotion. Feeling anger is different from expressing anger, and it is the inappropriate expression of anger that makes it unhealthy.
Not feeling any anger in a situation is just as unhealthy as expressing anger in a cageful, vengeful manner. e.g.: when we see a child being beaten cruelly, it is natural to feel anger, however this does NOT justify the inappropriate expression by yelling, screaming or beating the abuser. This is healthy anger.
Healthy Anger:
Healthy anger is appropriate to the situation that evokes it. Healthy expression of anger involves facing what makes you angry and an effort to set boundaries for yourself by determining what you will do in response to what makes you angry.
e.g.: When you do ________, I feel ______ , and to protect myself I will _________.
Healthy anger is not used to punish, is not violent, and is not used to intimidate, control or manipulate the other person. It is expressed, discussed and moved through.
Healthy anger is not stuffed down and ignored. Stuffed anger creates resentment and a myriad of physical, mental and emotional problems. Healthy anger is not expressed in passive-aggressive and manipulative ways.
Unhealthy Anger:
Unhealthy Anger is a component of abusive relationships. This kind of anger or rage is experienced with great intensity and expressed likewise by screaming and yelling, physical expressions of anger, violence or threats of violence, sulking, manipulation, emotional blackmail, silent smoldering, and anger used to punish.
Rage is a shame-based expression of anger.
Rage is by definition abuse. They react to strong emotions with rage, i.e. feelings of fear, sadness, shame, inadequacy, guilt or loss convert to rage.
They were typically shamed or punished by their caretakers for expressing emotion when they were young; i.e.: "Be a man and don't cry", "Nice girls don't get angry" or "I'll give you something to cry about".
Raging gives the angry person a feeling of power - offsetting their shame and feelings of inadequacy.
Unexpressed anger related to childhood abuses often results in addictive problems later in life. To stuff down the feelings of shame, anger, isolation, fear, sadness and loss the abuse creates.
By pushing feelings down it is impossible to work through feelings and move past them, keeping the person trapped in a downward spiral.
B10 Verse 27: Give no opportunity to the devil. From Handfuls on Purpose: "Give No Place to the Devil (Ephesians 4:27). The Devil is always in search of a place in our lives. He knows that if he can but get his poison into the blood, that the whole man will be affected. Paul forgave others, "lest Satan should get an advantage of us" (2Co 2:10-11). The hasty temper and the unforgiving mood gives Satan a great advantage. "Resist the Devil and he will flee from you."
B11 Verse 29: What is evil speech? How do we know? The context states that what we say is to be for edification. Sometimes truth hurts but must be told.
B12 God does have emotions. He can be grieved, that is, become sad. What makes God sad? A lack of faith, disobedience, rebellion, etc.
B13 Verses 31 and 32 are to be taken together. Verse 31 contains a list of what NOT to do, and verse 32 what we MUST do. God's laws/rules are like that. Somethings please God and we are to do. The list in verse 31 are things not to do to one another, instead we are to do the list in verse 32.
A4 Applications
B1 God does define a righteous life.
B2 God requires us to live a righteous life.
B3 God gives us specifics about a righteous life.
B4 By our thinking, doing, and talking in private and public will reveal our character: Matthew 7:15-20 NRSV "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? 17 In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will know them by their fruits.
B5 God requires, so He will assist by His grace: Romans 12:1-2 NRSV I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.
B6 His grace: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NRSV but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

12 February 2015

Why Are People So Angry?

A post by Ray Comfort


 

Facebook entry 12 February 15


 

www.livingwaters.com


 

"Ray in your own opinion, why are people so angry?" Matty Branagh


 

The above question was asked in reference to the thousands of abusive comments on this and other Christian sites (most of which don't get by our moderators).


 

The Internet, Hollywood, TV, magazines, etc., have flooded this world with sexual perversion, violence, blasphemy, fornication, homosexuality, adultery, and a godless worldview. As each nation gives itself to what the Bible calls "gross" darkness, the more it hates the light. Or to put it another way, the greater the criminal, the more he despises the rule of law.


 

As Christians, we stand for the rule of Law among those whom the Bible says are desperately wicked criminals, of which we were once a part. We are the ultimate "wet blanket" for sin loving sinners. Every time we speak the truth, it is like light exposing darkness. We remind them the God requires an account, and such produces what we often call "conviction" (an unpleasant sense of guilt).


 

Take for example a man who argues with his wife and suddenly realizes that she is right. He is in the wrong. He has two avenues of action. He can either humble himself and apologize, or he can keep his pride by becoming angry, slamming the door and leaving.


 

So it is when proud sinners begin to see that we are speaking the truth, they have two avenues. They can either humble themselves before the God they have offended, or they can become angry and abuse those who represent Him.


 

Anger

 

 

What are we to do about our anger? What are the rules about anger for the Christian?


A1 What is anger?


B1 A response of displeasure


C1 Many understand anger to be a response to a threat.


C2 But in reality seems to be more a response to one's standard of life--their own personal rules, morality, and beliefs.


C3 May be calculated as a manipulation.


C4 May be suppressed, which can lead to other problems.


B2 Physical effects


C1 Usually documented are physical effects as increased heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing.


C2 The face shows a distinctive red color, narrowed eye brows, piecing stare,, clenched teeth, and straight lips (if not curled).


C3 Sometimes the only expression may be in the piercing eyes.


C4 There are postures and other body language signs as clenched fists, fighting stance, quick movements, etc.


C5 Sometimes there is physical aggression as fighting, verbal outburst, or destructive behavior as vandalism or destruction of property.


B3 Emotional effects


C1 An outpouring of epinephrine and norepinephrine.


C2 Depression, remorse, guilt, shame, and alienation


B4 Others


C1 Anger may be controlled and calculating.


C2 Anger may be a rage of self destructive behavior.


C3 Judgment and insight are usually suppressed.


C4 Anger may come from misconceptions, misunderstanding, and a response to past triggers.


B5 Types (1)


C1 Passive


D1 Dispassion (showing little or no response as shrug, shutting the eyes as if asleep, or doodling, etc.)


D2 Evasiveness (walking away, turning the back, ignoring, etc.)


D3 Defeatism (setting up others for failure, passive aggression, etc.)


D4 Psychological manipulation


D5 Secretive behavior


D6 Self blame


C2 Aggressive


D1 Bullying


D2 Destructiveness


D3 Grandiosity


D4 Hurtfulness (hurting others feelings)


D5 Manic behavior


D6 Selfishness


D7 Threats


D8 Unjust blaming


D9 Unpredictability


D10 Revenge


A2 What are the rules?


B1 Don't have anger leading to murder. (Exodus 21:14,


B2 Don't make God angry with you.


C1 Disbelief (Zechariah 7:12, Nehemiah 9:29-30, Mark 16:14)


C2 Disobedience (Deuteronomy 4:21, Psalms 7:11)


C3 Making a vow to God and not keeping it (I'm sorry I just made a mistake.) (Ecclesiastes 5:6)


C4 Stopping or "deprograming" children from believing in God, praying, or Bible reading/studying. (Mark 10:14)


C5 Being a hypocrite. (Luke 13:15)


B3 Don't make your spouse jealous (Proverbs 6:34)


B4 Don't give the wicked what they want. (Proverbs 11:23). They wicked want more evil.


B5 Don't make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers. (Don't make friends with people who have hot, violent tempers. You might learn their habits and not be able to change. (Proverbs 22:24-25, GNB92)


B6 When we are angry, we lose insight and judgment. We then make stupid decisions and do stupid things that we are later sorry for. (Proverbs 14:17)


B7 When we are angry, we make the situation worse. It will only escalate. (Proverbs 29:22).


B8 Anger leads to arguments. (Psalm 37:8, Proverbs 15:18, Proverbs 29:22)


A3 How to handle anger


B1 A gift to the angry person. Give this in private otherwise it may make the angry person angrier as if you are trying to show them up. Consider the gift from Abigail to David. 1 Samuel 2:2-28


B2 Keep calm with an angry person especially if they are a government official (police, etc.) or your boss. (Ecclesiastes 10:4)


B3 Do not go to bed angry. (Ephesians 4:26)


B4 Do not make your children angry. (Ephesians 6:4)


B5 Listen for a long time and be slow to get angry (take time to really understand someone and what they are saying before becoming angry). (Proverbs 29:8, James 1:19)


B6 Pray. (1 Timothy 2:8)


B7 Speak to the angry person in a calm, quiet way. (Proverbs 15:1)


Take some time to think deeply what you are doing, as in do not plot revenge (Romans 12:19). It is better to suffer than take revenge. (Proverbs 4:4)


B8 Forgive. (Matthew 6:14) Forgiveness is not that the offender gets away with something but rather it is placed in God's hands who will deal with it correctly. Hopefully the offender will repent and ask God (and you) for forgiveness.


B9 Love as in being nice to the angry person. You might not succeed in helping them or even calming them down, but you have gone the second mile. (Proverbs 10:12, Proverbs 27:9, James 4:1)


B10 Leave the area. (Proverbs 14:7)


B11 We need to express our anger, but it must be done with self-control and when the rush of adrenalin is gone. Sit down with someone and talk about it. We need to listen to the difficulties of others.


B12 Not take it personally. (Proverbs 19:11)


B13 Even worldly philosophy points out. (2)


A4 What can we be angry at?


B1 The things that make God angry.


C1 Returning evil for good. (Romans 2:4)


C2 Thinking that our anger is righteous. (James 1:19-20)


C3 Revenge. We are to treat our enemy nicely. (Romans 12:19-21)


C4 Bearing grudges instead of forgiving. (Leviticus 19:18)


C5 Not forgiving those who ask for forgiveness. (Matthew 18:32-34)


C6 Worshipping idols (basically an idol is anything we look to for ultimate authority). (Exodus 32:19)


C7 Leaving/denying God. (Hebrews 3:12)


B2 Dishonoring God (Exodus 20:7)


C1 Who He is.


C2 What He does.


C3 What He decides (His decisions/judgments).


C4 What He says (the Scriptures in their plain, normal sense).


C5 What He promises.


C6 What He labels evil or good. When we call evil good and good evil, we are dishonoring God.


C7 His name.


C8 His character traits.


A5 Sources:


B1 (1) ANGER, 12 February 2015, Wikipedia Authors, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anger, Accessed 12 February 2015


B2 (2) THE DOWNSIDE OF ANGER, 1 July 2003, Hara Estroff Marano, https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200307/the-downside-anger, Accessed 12 February 2015


A6 Links and other opinions


B1 http://www.nationalforum.com/Electronic%20Journal%20Volumes/Hendricks,%20LaVelle%20The%20Effects%20of%20Anger%20on%20the%20Brain%20and%20Body%20NFJCA%20V2%20N1%202013.pdf


B2 http://www.gotquestions.org/anger.html


B3 http://biblestudycourses.org/proverbs-bible-study-courses-section-2/control-your-anger-exploring-the-passages/