Normally I don’t have such a long sermon outline. At time of delivery, it would be reduced to about 3 pages instead of 11, but since it is written, I thought I would include all.
I’ve adopted Natalie Hoffman’s terms of marriage as Christian or controlling, rather than complementarian and egalitarian. Her article explains it well.
Ephesians Chapter 5:21-33
B1 Ephesians 5:22-33 WEL 21 Place yourselves under one another in the fear of God. 22 Wives place yourselves under your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and Himself is savior of the body. 24 Therefore, since the church is under the authority of Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church even giving himself for her. 26 So that he might might sanctify her and cleanse her by the washing of water with the word. 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having a spot or a wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man has ever hated his own flesh but takes care of it and cherishes it, as the Lord [does for] the church. 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two of them will be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery, but I am talking about Christ and his church. 33 Nevertheless, let everyone of you so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she respects her husband.
B2 Ephesians 5:21-33 GW Place yourselves under each other's authority out of respect for Christ. 22 Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority as you have placed yourselves under the Lord's authority. 23 The husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. It is his body, and he is its Savior. 24 As the church is under Christ's authority, so wives are under their husbands' authority in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to make the church holy by cleansing it, washing it using water along with spoken words. 27 Then he could present it to himself as a glorious church, without any kind of stain or wrinkle-holy and without faults. 28 So husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 No one ever hated his own body. Instead, he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church. 30 We are parts of his body. 31 That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will be one. 32 This is a great mystery. (I'm talking about Christ's relationship to the church.) 33 But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands.
B1 Meaning of submit
C1 The Greek implies no sense of resistance. From TDNTa
A. The Greek World.
1. The active form of this verb means “to place under,” “to affix,” “to subordinate” (passive “to be subject”).
2. The middle form means “to subject oneself,” “to be subservient,” “to submit voluntarily.”
B. The LXX. The verb is not common in the LXX and stands for 13 Hebrew words in the usual senses “to place under,” “to subordinate,” “to subject,” passive “to be subject,” and middle “to subject oneself,” “to submit,” especially to God (Ps. 37:7).
C. The NT.
1. In the NT the term has a wide range of meaning centering on the idea of enforced or voluntary subordination. The active occurs in Rom. 8:20 to express the thought that creation is subjected to futility (cf. 5:12). The other active statements are christological. Quoting Ps. 8:6, 1 Cor. 15:25 says that Christ subjects all things (including death) to himself. Naturally this does not include God, for it is finally God who does the subjecting. Ps. 8:6 also underlies Phil. 3:21. Here Christ does the subjecting; he manifests his unlimited power by transforming the lowly body into the likeness of his glorious body. In Heb. 2:7-8 (cf. again Ps. 8:6) God subjects the world, not to angels, but to the Son, who is superior to the angels. The subjecting has begun but awaits consummation. Eph. 1:22 relates Ps. 8:6 to the enthronement that has already taken place, and with an ecclesiological reference. 1 Pet. 3:22 refers similarly to a subjection that Christ’s ascension and session complete. The common use of the verb of Ps. 8:6 shows that this verse holds an important place in the primitive Christian confession.
2. a. The middle denotes enforced submission in Lk. 10:17, 20, but elsewhere voluntary submission is at issue. Thus in Rom. 8:7 the flesh resists submission to God’s demand. Pious Judaism resists submission to God’s saving work in Rom. 10:3. A play on the active occurs in 1 Cor. 15:28. In his only use of the absolute “the Son,” Paul here shows that the Son achieves absolute power only to hand it back to God. All power rightly belongs to God, but to the very limit God has given to “the Son” the precedence that is his due.
b. The middle often occurs in exhortation (cf. submission to God in Jms. 4:7 and to salutary discipline in Heb. 12:9).
c. Lk. 2:51 stresses the subjection of the boy Jesus to his earthly parents. Like the subjection of wives to husbands (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:21ff.; 1 Pet. 3:1; Tit. 2:5), this is according to a divinely willed order.
d. Also divinely willed is the submission to authorities in Rom. 13:1ff., which acknowledges their legitimacy on the basis of their divine commission to reward good and punish evil. Tit. 3:1 and 1 Pet. 2:13-14 echo this teaching, which possibly rests on the reply of Jesus in Mk. 12:17 and parallels. At issue, of course, is the attitude to government as such rather than specifically the Roman state. Christians do not submit to the state merely because it provides conditions for their life and mission. They and all people owe subjection because government is by divine ordination.
e. Slaves should be subject to their masters, not now because slavery is by divine ordination, but because it is a reality that Christians are in no position to set aside. Among themselves, they can and should set it aside as members of the one family of God (cf. 1 Pet. 2:18; 1 Tim. 6:1-2; Phlm. 16).
f. 1 Pet. 5:5 demands the subjection of the younger to the elder, but also a general humility corresponding to the mutual subjection of Eph. 5:21. As a witness to unbelievers, Christians should accept submission to all human institutions for the Lord’s sake.
g. The general rule in NT exhortation is that there should be mutual readiness to renounce one’s own will for others. Even when believers owe secular subjection, this takes on a new aspect and has a new basis with the common subjection to Christ. The demand for mutual subjection shows that Christian hypotássomai bears a material relation to Christian tapeinophrosýnē.
D. The Early Church. Among the apostolic fathers Ignatius asks for submission to the bishop (and to one another) (Magnesians 13.2 etc.). 1 Clem. 57.2 counsels submission to the divinely ordained authorities. The heavens submit to God in 1 Clem. 20.1 (cf. Diog. 7.2). God in love has subjected creation to us (Hermas Mandates 12.4.2). Slaves should submit to their masters in godly reverence and fear (Did. 4.10-11). Of the Apologists Justin makes most use of the term, e.g., for God subjecting the earth to us or for the subjecting of enemies or demons to Christ (Apology 40.7; Dialogue 30.3).
5293 hypotássō (from 5259 /hypó, "under" and 5021 /tássō, "arrange") – properly, "under God's arrangement," i.e. submitting to the Lord (His plan). Copyright © 1987, 2011 by Helps Ministries, Inc.
B2 Every use in NT:
C1 No hint of resistance—Luke 2:51 KJV - And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject[G5293] unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. Comment: the Lord Jesus does NOT resist, there is nothing for Joseph and Mary to force.
C2 No resistance—Luke 10:17, 20 KJV - And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject[G5293] unto us through thy name. ... Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject[G5293] unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven. Comment: There seems to be no resistance here, for the evil spirits could easily have overpowered the 70.
C3 Not subjected shows resistance—Romans 8:7, 20 KJV - Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is[G5293][G0] not subject[G5293] to the law of God, neither indeed can be. ... For the creature was made subject[G5293] to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected[G5293] the same in hope. Comment: not subject implies resistance. The negative is important.
C4 Not submitted shows resistance—Romans 10:3 KJV - For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have[G5293][G0] not submitted themselves[G5293] unto the righteousness of God.
C5 No hint of resistance—Romans 13:1, 5 KJV - Let every soul be subject[G5293] unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. ... Wherefore ye must needs be subject,[G5293] not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.
C6 No hint of resistance—1 Corinthians 14:32, 34 KJV - And the spirits of the prophets are subject[G5293] to the prophets. ... Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience,[G5293] as also saith the law.
C7 No hint of resistance—1 Corinthians 15:27–28 KJV - For he hath put[G5293] all things under his feet. But when he saith all things are put under[G5293] him, it is manifest that he is excepted, which did put[G5293][G0] all things under[G5293] him. And when all things shall be subdued[G5293] unto him, then shall[G5293][G0] the Son also himself be subject[G5293] unto him that put[G5293][G0] all things under[G5293] him, that God may be all in all. Comment: The Lord Jesus does not resist and needs to overcome.
C8 No hint of resistance—1 Corinthians 16:16 KJV - That ye submit yourselves[G5293] unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth.
C9 No hint of resistance—Ephesians 1:22 KJV - And hath put[G5293] all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, Comment: The fact of the Lord Jesus’s superiority.
C10 No hint of resistance—Ephesians 5:21–22, 24 KJV - Submitting yourselves[G5293] one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves[G5293] unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ... Therefore as the church is subject[G5293] unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Comment: No resistance! Husband is to submit to wife and wife to husband. The word is closer to an attitude of humbleness.
C11 No hint of resistance—Philippians 3:21 KJV - Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue[G5293] all things unto himself.
C12 No hint of resistance—Colossians 3:18 KJV - Wives, submit yourselves[G5293] unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
C13 No hint of resistance—Titus 2:5, 9 KJV - To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient[G5293] to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. ... Exhort servants to be obedient[G5293] unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;
C14 No hint of resistance—Titus 3:1 KJV - Put them in mind to be subject[G5293] to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work, Comment: Christians are NOT to resist, so this can’t refer to resistance.
C15 This speaks of leadership and authority, not resistance. Hebrews 2:5, 8 KJV - For unto the angels hath he[G5293][G0] not put in subjection[G5293] the world to come, whereof we speak. ... Thou hast put[G5293][G0] all things in subjection[G5293] under his feet. For in that he put[G5293][G0] all in subjection under[G5293] him, he left nothing that is not put under him. But now we see not yet all things put under[G5293] him.
C16 No hint of resistance—Hebrews 12:9 KJV - Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we[G5293][G0] not much rather be in subjection[G5293] unto the Father of spirits, and live? Comment: It is implied that no resistance will be offered by a believer.
C17 No hint of resistance—James 4:7 KJV - Submit yourselves[G5293] therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Comment: we don’t resistance ourselves and over us.
C18 No hint of resistance—1 Peter 2:13, 18 KJV - Submit yourselves[G5293] to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; ... Servants, be subject[G5293] to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
C19 No hint of resistance—1 Peter 3:1, 5, 22 KJV - Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection[G5293] to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; ... For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection[G5293] unto their own husbands: ... Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject[G5293] unto him.
C20 No hint of resistance—1 Peter 5:5 KJV - Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves[G5293] unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject[G5293] one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
B3 English word shows overcoming resistance.
D1 Macmillan Dictionary: [INTRANSITIVE] to accept that someone has defeated you or has power over you submit to: In the end, they submitted to the Americans.
D2 Oxford Dictionaries: [no object] Accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person. ‘the original settlers were forced to submit to Bulgarian rule’
E1 transitive verb 1a : to yield to governance or authority.
E2 intransitive verb
1a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER
b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something had to submit to surgery
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another
B4 Submit to each other
C1 Passage: Ephesians 5:21 GW Place yourselves under each other's authority out of respect for Christ.
C2 As noted above, the word translated submit in most translations, refers to a humility, not pushing for one’s rights. It does not refer to control that must overcome resistance.
C3 The husband must submit, place himself under, the wife’s authority, just as the wife must submit, place herself under, the husband’s authority.
D1 1 Peter 5:5 GW Young people, in a similar way, place yourselves under the authority of spiritual leaders. Furthermore, all of you must serve each other with humility, because God opposes the arrogant but favors the humble.
D2 Ephesians 4:1-3 GW I, a prisoner in the Lord, encourage you to live the kind of life which proves that God has called you. 2 Be humble and gentle in every way. Be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other. 3 Through the peace that ties you together, do your best to maintain the unity that the Spirit gives.
B5 Wives to husbands and husbands to wife is important for a fellowship marriage.
B6 Head of church
C1 These Scriptures teach husbands places themselves under their wives and wives under their husbands, but it does not teach that Messiah Jesus places Himself under the members of His church.
C2 His style of leadership is a shepherd; it is not a controlling monster.
C3 Husbands to love wives
D1 Love is a choice.
D2 The actions of love on recorded in 1 Corinthians 13.
D3 There is no hint of any form of control or abuse.
C4 Church is all believers from Pentecost to the Rapture.
D1 Is a separation from what is displeasing and disgusting to God.
D2 3 types
E1 Positional Sanctification is also termed justification. It is the total renewing of the heart by God after believing faith into Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 NRSV So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!
E2 Experiential sanctification is also termed progressive sanctification. It is from the Holy Spirit’s work in the life of the believer to conform it to God’s ways.
F1 Hebrews 12:9-12 GW On earth we have fathers who disciplined us, and we respect them. Shouldn't we place ourselves under the authority of God, the father of spirits, so that we will live? 10 For a short time our fathers disciplined us as they thought best. Yet, God disciplines us for our own good so that we can become holy like him. 11 We don't enjoy being disciplined. It always seems to cause more pain than joy. But later on, those who learn from that discipline have peace that comes from doing what is right. 12 Strengthen your tired arms and weak knees.
F2 2 Peter 1:5-8 WEL Beside this, be diligent to add to your faith moral excellence; to moral excellence add knowledge. 6 To knowledge add self-control; to self-control add perseverance; to perseverance add godliness. 7 To godliness add brotherly love; to brotherly love add unselfish, unconditional love. 8 For if these qualities are in you and are plentiful, they will make you not to be barren or unfruitful in the thorough knowledge concerning our Lord Jesus Christ.
F3 Romans 6:19-22 GW I'm speaking in a human way because of the weakness of your corrupt nature. Clearly, you once offered all the parts of your body as slaves to sexual perversion and disobedience. This led you to live disobedient lives. Now, in the same way, offer all the parts of your body as slaves that do what God approves of. This leads you to live holy lives. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from doing what God approves of. 21 What did you gain by doing those things? You're ashamed of what you used to do because it ended in death. 22 Now you have been freed from sin and have become God's slaves. This results in a holy life and, finally, in everlasting life.
E3 Ultimate sanctification which is also termed glorification.
F1 We need sin again: Romans 6:7 WEL Indeed, the one who has died is freed from sin.
F2 Sin will be no more after the final judgment:
G1 Revelation 21:7-8 WEL He who overcomes will inherit everything, I will be his God, and he will be my son, 8 “But the cowardly, unbelieving, loathsome, murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars will have their share in the lake which burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
G2 Revelation 21:27 WEL In no way will there enter anything that defiles, does detestable things, or [makes] a lie. Only those who are written in the Lamb's Book of Life.
C6 Cleansing by washing of water with the word
E1 The Greek word is G2511 καθαρίζω katharizō.
E2 It means
F1 Physically cleaning as a shower or bath to wash dirt off our skin.
F2 Moral cleaning as stop sinning.
F3 Levitical cleaning.
F4 Salvation cleaning from sin and death to justification and life.
G1 Acts 15:9 CSB - He made no distinction between us and them, cleansing their hearts by faith.
G2 Hebrews 9:14 WEB - How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?
G3 1 John 1:7, 9 WEB - But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. ... If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
D2 Washing of water with the word.
E1 Since physical water with special words cannot cleanse spiritual, it must refer to the work of God. Water cannot cleanse the soul. Baptism is, among other things, acknowledging the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
F1 1 John 1:7, 9 CSB - If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. ... If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
F2 1 Peter 3:20-21 GW They are like those who disobeyed long ago in the days of Noah when God waited patiently while Noah built the ship. In this ship a few people-eight in all-were saved by water. 21 Baptism, which is like that water, now saves you. Baptism doesn't save by removing dirt from the body. Rather, baptism is a request to God for a clear conscience. It saves you through Jesus Christ, who came back from death to life.
E2 It is the blood of Jesus Christ, our redeemer. Hebrews 9:14 CSB - how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, cleanse our consciences from dead works so that we can serve the living God?
B7 An illustration of Christ and His church
B8 A lifestyle for husbands and wives
C1 Husbands to love wife as himself
C2 Wife to respect her husband
B1 Humility is important. As Christians in marriage, we do not demand our rights from our spouse. If this was understood better, there would be far less arguments, maybe even none.
B2 Messiah Yeshua is the perfect example. Since He is this way, but God’s grace we need to push ourselves to be this way.
B3 Abuse is evil.
B4 Demanding submission is evil.
B5 We must love each and respect each other.