Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts

26 December 2018

Ephesians 6:1-4

A1 Scripture
(Ephesians 6:1-4 WPNT) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
A2 Outline
B1 Children obey your parents
C1 It is right
C2 It is commanded
D1 First commandment with promise
D2 "Honor your father and mother"
D3 "That it may go well with you, and you may live long on the earth."
C3 Greek
D1 The word for obey is G5219 ὑπακούω hypakoúō. It means
E1 Literally, to hear under
E2 We understand it as listen to be able to follow instructions, so as to obey.
F1 The wind and sea heard the Lord Jesus and calmed (Matthew 8:27).
F2 People listen to and obey fleshly lusts (Romans 6:12).
F3 People listening to and obeying the Gospel (Romans 10:16).
E3 It is translated obey and listen (Acts 12:13).
D2 The word for honor is G5091 τιμάω timáō.
E1 Literally, to assign a value to. The Lord Jesus’s assigned value was only 30 pieces of silver (Matthew 27:9).
E2 It is used to honor God, parents, widows, and all people (1 Peter 2:17).
E3 The Lord Jesus honored His father in John 8:49, so I should be proud of my dad (proud in a good sense).
E4 Some dads are not worthy of honor because they are abusive.
B2 Fathers
C1 Do not provoke your children to anger
D1 Provoke is
E1 G3949 παροργίζω parorgízō. It means to make angry, bitter, going from a calm state to wrath.
E2 In English: to deliberately try to make someone angry (Source).
E3 Examples
F1 1 Samuel 20:30-34 NRSV Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan. He said to him, "You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother's nakedness? (31) For as long as the son of Jesse lives upon the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die." (32) Then Jonathan answered his father Saul, "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" (33) But Saul threw his spear at him to strike him; so Jonathan knew that it was the decision of his father to put David to death. (34) Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food on the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, and because his father had disgraced him.
F2 1 Samuel 1:6-7 NRSV Her rival used to provoke her severely, to irritate her, because the LORD had closed her womb. (7) So it went on year by year; as often as she went up to the house of the LORD, she used to provoke her. Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat.
F3 1 Kings 16:33 NRSV Ahab also made a sacred pole. Ahab did more to provoke the anger of the LORD, the God of Israel, than had all the kings of Israel who were before him.
D2 What are the most common ways we as fathers do this? Here’s a helpful list from Lou Priolo.
  1. Lack of marital harmony
  2. Establishing and maintaining a child-centered home
  3. Modeling sinful anger
  4. Habitually disciplining in anger
  5. Scolding
  6. Being inconsistent with discipline
  7. Having double standards
  8. Being legalistic
  9. Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness
  10. Constantly finding fault
  11. Parents reversing God-given roles
  12. Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his or her ‘side of the story’ seriously
  13. Comparing them to others
  14. Not making time ‘just to talk’
  15. Not praising or encouraging your child
  16. Failing to keep your promises
  17. Chastening in front of others
  18. Not allowing enough freedom
  19. Allowing too much freedom
  20. Mocking your child
  21. Abusing them physically
  22. Ridiculing or name calling
  23. Unrealistic expectations
  24. Practicing favoritism
  25. Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word
C2 Bring them up (cherish them to train them) them in
D1 Nurture (education, instruction) of the Lord
D2 Admonition (calling attention to, mild rebuke, or warning (Thayer’s) of the Lord
B3 Our motive:
C1 Our motive is to please God in doing what is right.
C2 Teach by our life, example, and guidance self-control and expecting it from the children. Included in this would be to learn to sit still so they can learn in church, school, etc.
B4 Instruction of the Lord
C1 Instruction is constructive criticism with encouragement.
C2 "You have done well, but here is a few tips of doing better."
C3 Verses
D1 1 Corinthians 10:11 NRSV These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us, on whom the ends of the ages have come.
D2 Titus 3:10 NRSV After a first and second admonition, have nothing more to do with anyone who causes divisions.
B5 Of the Lord
C1 The Lord's way. The way God educates and instructs.
C2 Parents are to teach their children how to be the type of man or woman God wishes.
C3 With the help and approval of God.
A3 Applications
B1 God is our example of how to live.
B2 God wants us to be successful as He defines it.
B3 God children to be successful as He defines it.
B4 We must be consistent in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds.
B5 Our home should be God centered, then spouse centered (after the child turns 2), but not child centered. Your spouse is more important than your child.

26 January 2015

Parents Need to Ask Forgiveness, too

A message from Benjamin Watson


Today I had to ask my son for his forgiveness. Like many parents we've tried to teach our children how to treat others how they would like to be treated. We've talked about loving, sharing, and respecting each other. We teach our kids to bless others who may be less fortunate. They routinely ask us for ways they can help the homeless and hungry among us. As Christians, we teach them about the God who created them, and who sent his Son in order to bring them eternal life and relationship with himself. We pray together as a family at night and attend church regularly. Sounds pretty good huh? We are intentional about instilling values in our children because we want them to enjoy proper fellowship with their fellow man as well as their Heavenly Father. We want them to become well rounded, mature adults who are emotionally, physically and spiritually developed. AND most importantly, we don't want them to HIT, SPIT AT, FIGHT, or BITE each other, or do anything else that causes Mommy or Daddy to yell, "STOP IT" 45 times!!!!

Every few nights we sing songs before bed. One favorite goes like this,

"Be ye kind, one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another even as Christ has forgiven you. E-phe-sians four thirty two, ba dum, ba dum, E-phe-sians four thirty two, ba dum, ba dum." (Ephesians 4:32)

Honestly, when we sing that song I'm hoping THEY internalize those words and I don't have to discipline, correct or separate anyone for at least a couple hours. 
But today, I was the one who wasn't kind, or tender hearted and had to ask forgiveness from my child. Sparing all the details, I will say I became agitated because my son, instead of asking for help to get his clothes off for bath time began to cry uncontrollably out of frustration. I instructed him and implored him about what he should do and how he should ask, to no avail. The tears were in full force. At this point I became angry, my tone changed, and while I never insulted him (calling him a crybaby) I was not communicating with him in a kind, tender hearted or loving way. I was the antithesis of that song and that verse.

After quickly bathing and dressing him he went downstairs and I went to my room, convicted by the Holy Spirit. And so, I, the daddy, the teacher, the "mature" one, went downstairs and begged for my son's forgiveness. He gave me one of the best hugs I've ever had. Thank God children don't hold grudges very long!

Sometimes, parenting will drive you to your limits. These children that give us so much joy can drive us to our wits end, testing every fiber of our patience. As we teach them right and wrong we must ALWAYS be willing to DEMONSTRATE right and wrong. All the church songs, Bible verses, core values and morals will mean nothing to them as they grow older if we don't live them out in our daily lives. This includes admitting our shortcomings. We must be willing to humble ourselves and ask them for forgiveness when we mistreat them. In word, thought or deed, it will happen. Even the most devoted parents will fall short of perfection at times. When this happens we must be willing to show our children, that while they must obey us, we in turn must obey God. And if that means a 34 year old telling a 3 year old he's sorry, and asking for forgiveness. So be it.

Now I'm the one in tears.